Scary Noah

Not very long ago, I wrote in an entry here that Noah apparently has a scary, violent side that I’ve never seen, that worries me. Today I met that side. It sucked.

This morning one of Noah’s coworkers really fucked some stuff up. I think I’ve mentioned here that in addition to his regular job, he and a couple friends have a little web design business that they run together. They’re all supposedly equal partners in it, but Noah ends up doing the bulk of the work. Which annoys him sometimes, but he usually handles it just fine.

But this guy kind of slacked off on an important project, and then rather than just letting Noah know that he hadn’t finished it, he lied or something (I’m a little fuzzy on what actually happened), and so this project that needs to be done tomorrow is nowhere near finished, and Noah just found out about it today.

I’m not explaining it well because I don’t know the details, but basically Noah has every right to be royally pissed off at this guy. Except…he got scary angry. Like, knock stuff off his desk and punch an actual hole in the wall angry. It freaked me the fuck out, especially because I was just a few feet away from him when it happened.

I was hanging out with him a bit in bed this morning, and he was sort of half talking to me, half working on stuff, and then he got an e-mail from his coworker fessing up about the half-finished project, and he completely lost it. Suddenly. I couldn’t even get him to calm down enough to explain what he was flipping out about, for quite a while. So the whole time I was just kind of sitting in the bed, a little bit stunned, and watching him turn into this really scary, violent version of himself.

None of it was directed at me. He didn’t do anything to me. But it affected me, a lot. I don’t think he understands how much it bothered me to see that from him. He apologized for losing it in front of me, and said he’ll fix the wall, but he also said that this isn’t new information to me, that he’s already told me he’s still working on getting control of his anger, so he doesn’t know why I’m so shocked by it. I don’t know, I’m probably overreacting. I’m a little over-sensitive to seeing a guy I’m with get angry, I guess.

So he’s spent most of the day at his computer, trying to fix everything, and I’m just kind of numb. I’m sure I’ll get over it. I’m just not there yet.