Play-dating

I’ve been lucky enough to never really have to "date" much as an adult. The three significant relationships I’ve had all just sort of happened without my particularly doing anything to find them, so while I’ve been on plenty of dates I’ve never had that feeling of wanting to find someone to be with, and going out to dinner to get to know each other and see if we want to date, and all that. I think I’m very glad I’ve never had to do that, because I’m getting I think a little taste of it now.

Trying to make new mommy friends is a LOT like dating! I know I should have some friends with babies, so I go to playgroups and have an online meetup group that does little activities and things, and basically everywhere I go I’m on the lookout for other moms that I can stand to have a conversation with for more than 5 minutes. And when I click with someone, there’s this really awkward point where we have to figure out a way to take our mommy-friendship to the next level (in other words, hang out outside of a playgroup or scheduled group activity thing). Which pretty much comes down to one of us has to ask the other one on a date. It’s weird and awkward and I really hate it.

At least with dating you’re only trying to find one person. I’m supposed to get a whole network of other moms!

I had a mommy-date this afternoon. Noah finds the whole thing hilarious and always makes little comments like I’m going out on an actual date ("Think you’ll get to second base?" "Make sure to show some cleavage!"). And the sad thing is that I do actually spend time figuring out what to wear, and stressing about what she’ll think of me. The girl today was one I’ve hung out with twice before, so he had a bunch of third-date type comments. It cracks me up, and also makes me feel totally pathetic because I’m probably more nervous going on mommy-dates than on actual dates.

I’ve always had a hard time getting along well with other women. I mean, I don’t NOT get along with them, I just don’t always click with women as well as I do with men. But my attempt to have a dad friend was a miserable failure, since he tried to kiss me. So mommy-dates it is!

I wonder if all the other new moms hate this whole process as much as I do…