Meeting.

I had the meeting with my boss yesterday, to let him know I wouldn’t be coming back at the end of my maternity leave. It went about as well as it could go, really.

I took Baby in with me, so I could introduce her to coworkers. She was a big hit. 🙂

And the meeting….I told him that I just couldn’t see coming back right away, because my attention would be really divided right now and I wouldn’t be able to devote myself to my job the way I usually do, and it wouldn’t be fair to the company for me to be there and only doing the bare minimum. I said that I might be ready to come back in a few months, but couldn’t guarantee an exact timeframe so while I would love to be able to return to my job, I also completely understand if they need to just go ahead and hire someone else.

I guess the ideal situation would be if they just magically held my job for an indefinite period of time, but I didn’t actually expect that to happen. So my boss said that they’ll have to go ahead with the hiring process, but that it COULD take a few months before they officially hire someone, and if I do decide to come back before then I can have my job back. And that if they do replace me, at whatever point I’m ready to go back to work, we’ll "work something out."

So I don’t really know what that means, except that it sounds like I probably would have some kind of job to return to, but probably not my old job.

It feels WEIRD to just be done with work, and not have a set date to go back. Like….I’m not on maternity leave anymore, I’m unemployed. Fucking weird.

So now I guess I’ll just see how it goes. The thing that worries me most is that this will definitely bring the marriage topic to the center, since I’m sure Noah will want to set a date for fairly soon, so I can get on his insurance and stuff. I’m really not sure what to do.

And because whenever I write about the work situation, I get lots of notes about how bad it would be to be "dependent" on Noah, and I’m sick of answering in notes…

If it doesn’t work out with Noah and me, I will be FINE. I have a pretty large savings account, so with or without his support I would still be able to stay home with baby for the next few months. The decision to stay home with her for now doesn’t render me more dependent on Noah, it just means that a few things would be easier if we got married, as opposed to just living together. But I have no intention of making a decision like that based on money.