Bullemic baby

Baby has an interesting new habit. She has recently discovered that it’s fun to suck on her fingers (hasn’t quite found the thumb yet, and she gets mad if I try to give her a pacifier), and for whatever reason she keeps accidentally sticking her hand way too far in her mouth and gagging herself. You’d think after a couple times she would figure out that it’s not a good idea, but she does this many times a day. Every time she does it, after she gags she gives me this look like "what the fuck just happened??"

I’m still trying to figure out what to do about work, and it feels like the time is creeping up on me way too fast. What I want is to take a few more months (at least) to be home with Baby, but then be able to go back to my exact job. I think if I knew an exact timeframe I might be able to talk to them about extending my leave (unpaid, obviously). I’m not sure they would go for that, because the guy filling in for me isn’t doing that great of a job and I think if I’m not coming back they want to hire someone permanent rather than just letting him keep filling in. But if they knew I’d be back in, say 3 more months, it might be worth it to them to just wait, because the hiring process is probably going to be a total pain in the ass.

But then, if I ask for 3 more months, and they don’t start the hiring process, and then it turns out I’m STILL not wanting to go back, I’ve just royally screwed them over. So if I ask for more time, that means making a commitment to go back at a specific time. Which I’m not ready to do.

I think if I knew I had a year I could deal with making a commitment to go back. But I’m sure they wouldn’t hold my job for a year!

Going back at the end of my maternity leave isn’t really on the table anymore. I know it’s not the right thing for me or Baby. Plus, I would completely suck at that job right now, because my focus wouldn’t be there. I was really good at my job before, and was a total workaholic, and at the moment I just don’t care enough to work that hard.

So it’s just a question of whether I try to pick a later date to go back, and commit to it, or if I just quit entirely. I don’t really like either option.

They may be open to a few days a week or half days. That way they know you are keeping an eye on the big picture, but someone else is doing some of the work.

Do you have the option of working PT from home for the next several months until you’re ready to go back for good? Poor babe sticking her fingers to far in her mouth lol.