Backwards social life

It’s Friday night and I’m lonely as hell.

During the day lately, I feel like I’m starting to have a bit more of a life. I go to playgroups, I’ve made a few new friends and hang out with some of my old ones, and I can go out any time I want and just bring Baby with me. It makes me feel vaguely human again.

But then evening happens. And I’m stuck at home. Noah is great about taking Baby for a bit if I need a break, but the thing is I’m only able to "take a break" at home. Which isn’t really much of a break.

Baby won’t take a bottle. And I shouldn’t complain, because it’s great that she loves my boobs so much (especially after the horrible start we had with breastfeeding), but it means I can’t be away from her, EVER. And we feed on demand (meaning, I feed her when she’s hungry, rather than imposing some "schedule" on her…there are different schools of thought on this, and a lot of people have really strong opinions one way or the other, but personally I just like to do whatever makes the most sense to me. And it makes the most sense to me to feed my baby if she’s hungry!). So I can’t plan on it being another hour or whatever until her next feeding, so really I just can’t be away ever. Not that I even really WANT to be away from her for very long, but it sucks not to have the option.

So here I am, stuck at home. And Noah is able to go out whenever he wants, and even though he’s not going out THAT much, and is definitely trying to do his share of the baby stuff, it’s hard not to resent him a little when he’s able to just leave without having to think much about it. But of course, I can’t actually DO anything about it, because it wouldn’t be fair to tell him he can’t go out, just because I can’t.

So I’m lonely. And a little bored. And tired, but not tired enough to sleep.

There’s a great country song with a line that says “it won’t be like this for long” it’s by Darius Tucker, I think (the guy from booty and the blow fish, of all things!) For what it’s worth, it sounds to me like you’re doing an amazing job. This stage really won’t last long at all and before you know it, you might find yourself missing it. I know it doesn’t help when you’re bored to tears,

Is it just going out at night? You and Noah could go out with baby…dinner and maybe even a movie ( no one is going to see you nursing in a dark theater). If it’s “the night life” you miss though, well, I can’t offer any help there, but you’ll figure it out. Best wishes for you and your little family.

The title made me laugh! Social life… sighs, all but gone. I don’t know what other couples do, I stopped going out while H couldn’t join me. The boys nights were few and far between. Maybe 5 in the last 5 years. My situation is probably a bit different with all my traveling though.