Attack of the Killer Boobies

My breasts tried to kill me. For reals.

First, I should mention that I really dislike going to the doctor. I call them all the fucking time about Baby, and once rushed her to the ER because she spit up. But when it’s my own stuff, I don’t want to go anywhere near a doctor’s office if I can help it. So when I get sick I either try to power through it, or I do obsessive internet "research" and wind up convinced I have a brain tumor or something.

So toward the end of last week I started feeling a little bit sick, kind of like the beginning of some virus or something, where nothing was specifically wrong but I just felt "off" and kind of achy. So I tried to sleep it off and ignore it, because it’s not really like I can call in sick from being a mommy. Friday I felt like total crap but at least could still function a tiny bit.

Then Saturday I was a complete mess. I could hardly get out of bed the whole day, to the point that Noah had to just ignore work stuff all day so he could take care of Baby, and just bring her to me so I could feed her in bed. Everything hurt. When I was feeding her, it hurt so much that I was crying. I really, really hated having her see me cry, because I usually try to always be cheery and sweet with her, and I know she had no idea what was wrong. Noah was really sweet taking care of me, but increasingly annoyed that I was ignoring his suggestion to call the doctor.

Saturday night I kind of thought I was dying. Not really, rationally, but it was that awful feeling when it feels like your body is falling apart and you have no idea what the hell is going on.

So this morning Noah told me that I could either go to the doctor willingly, or he could just drag me there himself, since I wasn’t exactly in any position to stop him. So I went to the doctor, although I still felt kind of dumb going for what I figured was just the flu or something.

Turns out it’s mastitis, which is an infection caused by breastfeeding. So really, my boobs tried to kill me. I just have to take antibiotics and it should go away, hopefully soon, and knowing what it is definitely makes it better, even though I don’t really feel physically better yet. I’m kind of annoyed at myself that I didn’t know what it was, because the whole "breastfeeding hurts like a bitch" thing should have probably tipped me off. But it seriously feels like the flu, and everything else hurts, too, not just my breasts.

So anyway, that was my weekend. Ugh.