Worth the wait

I ran tonight. For the first time since the Santa dash at the beginning of December. It was a killer, but I forced myself to do 4.5k. Now I’ve hit 5k and know I can do it, it feels a cop out not to do it every time. Although if I run two or three times a week, I’m sure I’ll soon be up to, and surpassing that mark.

I’m desperate to be fit for a 10k this year. The first is in May, and there are several throughout the year locally, including one through the tunnel under the river Mersey, which has many hills and is bound to be brutal!

I feel like this year is a year to push myself, to challenge myself. I’m happy and settled in work and at home, things with John are amazing at the moment.

So I’m back to uni next week to start a module, which will count towards finishing my degree. In the uk, you can be a registered nurse with a diploma or degree, and really it doesn’t make any difference at the moment, although if I ever want to become a specialist nurse, which is obviously years down the path, I’ll need a degree, and a masters, and this is another step in that journey.

I had intended to do my degree straight off, but the last six months of my course, when the intensity steps up in terms of dissertation and final assignments, was when my mum was diagnosed with cancer, and it just wasn’t a priority. I wanted to qualify, and I wanted to do well, but sitting writing hours of assessed work just wasn’t on the agenda, when I knew I could do it at a later date.

Our clinical nurse specialist has signed me off for my in house chemo course so I’m trained to give chemo unsupervised now, which is just amazing to me. I’ve also applied for the accredited chemo course at the local oncology centre, which is likely to be in September, and means I’ll have an officially recognised qualification which will be definitely transferable.

It feels like a very exciting time. Good things are happening in all areas of my life. Things I’ve worked hard for, and persevered for.

It makes me think of all those nights I spent in bed, single and miserable, wondering if I’d ever meet someone who made me happy, someone who made half as much effort for me as I made for them. And I knew when I found that person it’d be well worth the wait, and that’s why I held out. And John is so much more than worth the wait. I love that boy like I never thought possible.

And work. It took two years to finally get a permanent contract. It took two years to be in a position to even apply for modules and training, and in three months I’ve been signed off as competently chemo trained and accepted for two modules.

Some things are totally worth the wait. It feels like everything I have right now has been a long time coming but I wouldn’t swap my life for anything right now.