The L word

I wonder if this is what it is to be grown up? I’ve met a lovely man everybody. A man who seems to be an actual grown up.

I met him through the online dating site, although actually I had known him when I was in school, he was a friend of a friend, who I haven’t seen for ten years. He said hi on the dating site, asked me if I’d like to show him round sometime as he’s just moved back from working away. I said I could see my way to that, and a few days and many more messages later he asked me out on a date.

We arranged to meet at a bar, then he said he had to pass mine so would pick me up. I heard the car and looked out the window, and when I saw it was him I went outside. By which time he had got out of the car and seemed quite disappointed that he hasn’t actually got to knock for me! He opened the car door, very gentlemanly.

In all honesty, I hadn’t known what to expect. I didn’t know if I was attracted to him, I didn’t know how we’d get on as anything other than friends. As it happens, we get on like best mates, but fancy the pants off each other!

Cue several dates in quick succession, the boy has decided he’s quite smitten with me. And I’ve decided I’m quite smitten with him too. It feels right. When I’m with him, I feel like I can just relax and be myself, and he loves that version of me. The real me.

Yes, that’s right, the boy is in love. He’s panicking it’s too quick and too soon and shouldn’t be happening like this. In truth, it feels just right. Which is what I keep telling him. We’re just doing what feels right.

I’m terrified. No boy has loved me like this since Tim and I broke up 7 years ago. No boy has wanted to put me first and worried about making me happy like dan does. Oh yeh, forgot to mention, he’s another dan! He wants to spend time with me, as much time as he can. With my ex I had to practically beg in the end to get more than a couple of evening a week with him. Dan, dan wants to actually be with me. When I told him I was scared because I’m not used to someone being this into me, he said as long as we stick together we’ll be just fine. The boy cannot get any cuter if he tries.

It’s insanely fast. But I feel like I’ve known him all my life. And he makes me happy. I’m scared to get carried away with all this, I’m used to things going tits up. But I don’t want to be so scared that I can’t enjoy falling in love with someone who loves me and seems to want to treat me like a princess.

Xx