I’m a believer

I believe in love. I really do. This last weekend, Laura and dave were out, and that man is so in love with Laura it’s a sight to behold. Also, Geoff. Who is marrying Maeve tomorrow. He was sat chatting to us in the pub and telling anyone who’d listen how she’s not just gorgeous, she’s an actual honest to god nice person too, and that’s why he loves her. He wanted to scream
it from the rafters. It was completely heartwarming.

It also made me realise noone has ever loved me like that. And it made me realise that I’m prepared to wait for it. Because if I meet a guy who’ll sit in the pub and tell my friends that I’m the best thing since sliced bread, well it’ll be a miracle cos I’ve never been close, but also, it’ll be so worth the wait.

I feel like crying. A lot. I spent all day Monday in bed, I got up to head to the kitchen then took my food back to bed. I didn’t wash, I didn’t get dressed. I just felt bloody miserable so I wallowed. I was sad that noone had ever loved me like that. A lot of boys have said they’ve loved me. A lot of boys have fallen out of love with me, then text me months later to say actually they’ve made a mistake and I wasn’t so bad. But noone has ever been certain.

I’m prepared to wait for certainty. I want someone who loves me for a lifetime, not just as long as it’s convenient for them.

Xx