Still Waiting~

I am still waiting for one. Been almost a week and I still only have one. I would like to have another. Maybe a few of them. Heck ten or more would be nice. If nothing more that to give me the sense that people are actually reading what i am writing and to show me a diffrent point of view that what i already have. Ah, well you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink. That is my story and I am sticking to it.

I talk to her this afternoon. Can’t help but say it, it felt nice. I was once again walking on pins and needles. I was afraid to make a contradictive statement, or to not agree with what she was saying. I was afraid of that line. The one I have heard one too many times. The one that goes a little something like well I have to go. Which was then followed by the txt why did you do that for. So I watched what I said, and I know doing so was not me being me. I tend to think that all this fighting and arguing and discontent with each other is for a reason. Maybe we are just not meant to be, and all these fights are a sign that we need to cut ties and each go our seperate ways. I dare not bring that up with her, cause I am sure she would agree and not talk to me again. I know we are trying, but how long does this trying thing going to take. I keep thinking of all the time that has been invested into what we have, to just let it all go. So instead, I take pride in knowing that in another month, we are going to be on good terms for one whole year. If you subtract the times we have not talked, then by December it will be a year. But hey, we all have to start somewhere.

All in all, I think it was a good conversation. The point where I lost myself is/was how long before we are like we were. I found myself thinking we were already there, then I caught myself thinking we are not. I just can’t let what happened and what i said go unoticed. I mean I could but that would be wrong. Its like cheating on your boyfriend or girlfriend, they saying I am sorry, can we go on. Random Note-Shattered by O.A.R. What a song~. It just does not work that way. You can’t just jump back to where you left off. So in theory, that is where I am. I would love to go back to how it was, but I know I was wrong and now its the waiting game. Heck I wonder if it was cause I called last night that promted her to call me tonight, or if it was just her wanting to tell me about her brothers great job, and the UNC Scout calling him. I don’t know, and I don’t care, I am just happy she called and talked to me.

I once believed that the greatest season out of the four was winter. Why cause its cool. Where I live in never gets cold cold, but I tend to believe that it does. The picture in the upper left shows the snow we got, so it must get somewhat cold. Anywhom, I am now going to change that to fall. I think its mostly cause Halloween in in the fall, and Halloween for some reason or another has taken over as my favorite holiday. I have always been intrested in mysteries and ghost stories. Yet I will not watch a scary movie. Is there such a diffrence between scary and mystery? Bottom line is, in about 32 days or so Halloween will be among us, and I can’t wait. I love it. Seeing all the costumes and the little kids all dressed up. Oh and who could for get about Saw V..

Goodnight