Round Trip

So its been a while. I am starting to just do the regular two time a week update. Ha, keeps it simple and out of trouble. Unfourtantly, it isn’t working. Think I am digging a hole, and am only making it deeper. Ah, well hell, ya know me and if you don’t then you should get to know me…for I am a very intresting character…

I got my pay check on tuesday, got a raise. Whats that two years and 8 months later. I think it was a little late, but better late than never. Wouldn’t really say anthing about the raise, if it wasn’t for my boss whom told me today, oh and Jp you are welcome. I looked at him for what..he was like for the raise..I was like dude we both know..that that sum bitch is kinda late. He said well aren’t you going to say thanks..I was like well if I didn’t deserve it, then I shouldn’t have gotten it right…

I have a bad tendency of being a smart ass at the wrong time. Its just me. I mean I do appreciate the raise, but dude you are not going to humilate me and make me be humble. If I derserved it, then I got it. If not then I shouldn’t have gotten it. Guess all that talk about me moving on finally made some noise in that empty can he calls his head. So that was that, but the smartass in me is still there. Its something that I can control, but when the joke, or subject is there..I can’t help it. I say something, then try to cover it up with its was there…

So all this week it has been dead at the store. Think managment is second guessing themselfs giving me that raise…lol. So I was bored and had nothing to do today, so i decided to mop my office. Oh yeah, should have taken pictures, but na, its all good. So now, I have to show up a little early tomorrow morning to slap a little Mop and Glow on the floor to make it look all nice and shinny and wet. Oh yeah, taking pride in what I do..lol

So Christy is working at the store. The bosses daughter whom got kicked out by her married boyfriend. It was my worste nightmare come true. I mean bless her heart, but dude she is so so so out there. Air head isn’t the word. Its worste, and to be honest she has only been there a week, and she is already gettting on my nerves. Its Josie this and Joise that. Its like dude shut da hell up and do some work. Kinda yelled at her the other day, cause she just had a brain fart and froze. It was just me and her at the store, and all these people decided to come in, and I am in the paint room doing a custom mix, oh I will xplain the custom mix later later, and then this other guy was in the plumbing section and I had tom in the electrical, and other people looking around, and she is standing behind the cash register with this look of what have I gotten myself into, or the look of what da hell do I do. I thought you know kinda how you see in the movies, when someone is starting blankly into space, that they slap them and tell them to get ahold of themselfs and like try and help people. Yeah, I thought about it, but I knew it wouldn’t work. Think she has issues. Don’t know, don’t care, but if MySpace stops working there on Saturday, and they have her there with me…something is going to give..and it isn’t me. Remember I am tooooo stuborn. Or however you spell it…

Had it out with D the other night. Said something, that I probably shouldn’t have said, but I was looking for a reaction. Didn’t get it, she asked me what was wrong..I said nothing. Said we needed to talk about it, she talked I listened, semi-understood, but still a little cloudy. This is what I got from what was said…I am probably wrong, understood it wrong, or am just completly wrong, but I am not changing it in any way shape or form. Basicly, it was this. I said that I had vacations comming up. I had told her a while back that I wanted to meet up. That conversation in itself turned upside down and inside out. Ugly to say the least. So when I told her I had vacations comming up, it triggered a reaction that what I THINK means that she is either not ready, or does not want to meet up. She said, and going to leave some things out, for privacy issues, no need to spill everything, then again, few people read and know her, so it might be good, but I won’t. She said, that she is afraid that if something does happen, that it is going to fall apart cause of her. That we might be fine and dandy for a while, then she is going to cause something that is going to make me leave her. Said it has happened to her in the past. I was like ok. I just don’t understand how she can do something to make us fall apart. A while back it was that if we meet, that things would change. That the meet would be bad, and that I would not want to talk to her again. I was like ok. Then I asked her, cause I figured she was thinking that us meeting was going to end up bad. I asked, what if meeting turns out good. Still waiting on that answer. I am not saying that she is giving me the run around…not by a long shot. If it seems like she is giving me the run around, seems refering to you the reader, let me know. Maybe I am in a cloud and can’t see strait. All I know is, in the past few weeks, I have been doing a whole lot of research on the city where she lives. Trying to figure out the short cuts, and refrence points, just in case I would get lost. Just trying to see how much of a problem it would be to get around a big metropolis…and I think all that time I spent might have been for nothing…Called the airlines company this evening to cancel my plane ticket..they said they would process it, and if I changed my mind, they could still hold it till friday of next week…I said cool and hung up….

I have never tried to be the bad guy in all this. I have never tried to be anything more than what I am, cause that is how you get into trouble. I just have a hard time understanding when you say certain things, that you want them to happen, and when I want them to happen they can’t. Not that I don’t like what you say. Its intresting and gets me xcited, but what is really the point of saying them, if we will never xperiance them. Bring me up, then drop me down. Its a roller coaster, and just when I am about to call the whole ride off, you say or do something to me, that causes everything to change. ANd I just fall back in the palm of your hand. I never thought I’d find someone to be mine…and yet I just don’t know. I have never meet a girl like you before, and I still don’t have a clue who you really are…I know I told you I would e-mail you. But I just can’t bring myself to do it. Every time I have some time alone and start thinking, I write that e-mail in my mind, and am xcited, cause everything that I just thought up, sounds just right. Its so perfect that even you will fully understand it, and you won’t think its something else like you do when I say other things to you. Then when I sit and get ready to type..everything just disappears..like sand thru my hands. You are probably thinking by now, that i am trying to figure out a way to end this between you and me. And that is not what I want. If we are to become the best of friends, I can deal with that. Its when you say and hint towards other things, like being more than fri

ends, and when I try to make that a reality and get turned down, then I don’t understand why you hint and say things towards that. And that is what hurts me the most. If there is no chance of us being together, then don’t say things like we can and we will. She once said, how do you know what you want if you have never had it…I say how do you know how it will end, if you don’t even try….

Goodnight..

Jp

Unanswered Questions of the Night:

Why did Iowa get so much rain..and we are so dry…

When will it rain….

Is it true that when it rains, its cause an Angel is crying…

Why hasn’t Netflix recieved my movie yet and I sent it Monday….