Always

So its sunday, and I haven’t gotten a damn thing done. Every week its the same ol story. Going to do something constructive on suday. Going to clean my room, clean my truck, go outside and build something. Go do something even if its wrong, I keep telling myself that I need to do something. Instead, I just sit in my room, ac on and watch tv. What a loser, I know.lol. Its all good. But its sunday night, and well prorably going to pull an all nighter. Heck I slept till 11 this moring, and I am not feeling tired. I am out of beer, and to lazy to go to town. Plus if I go to town, I might not come back..LoL. So instead, I think I am going to take a shower, and finally get to putting some new music on my Ipod and on my flash drive to play in my truck. That and maybe clean up the mess that I have in my computer. Too many old files, pictures, and things of that nature that I need to get rid off. Hope it dosen’t take me too long..lol. After all, all I have is time…

Wrote D that e-mail that I was telling her I was going to e-mail a few weeks ago last night. Didn’t get no responce from it. Not like I was looking for a responce or anything, but either or, I didn’t get it. We talked last night for almost two hours. I was walking on egg shells the whole time. I was dreading the click and the dial tone after wards. So instead, I just kept my cool, and just went along for the conversation. It felt good. Seemed like the good ol times. So I write the letter, took me all of three hours to do it. It wasn’t that long, just four or five pages I think. I talked about everything that had bothered me to this date, and finished it by accepting, that I was the one that was wrong. As of right now, I haven’t gotten nothing from her as to a reaction of sorts as if it was a good e-mail or a bad e-mail. Part of me wants to call and see whats up, and part of me wants me to just shut the hell up, and let her make her move. Guess all I have is time to wait…

‘I have come to the realization, that i am getting old, and am not going anywhere. Not like in life in general, but that I don’t decide to take road trips like I used too. That I am not as wild and xciting as I used to be. I talked to the air line people on friday, cause it was in regards to my ticket to Ohio, and I basicly in so many words, just got an xtenstion. So not all is lost, but I still need to decide if I want to go or not. I ran into a women from Lima at the hardware store saturday, and I would not have know she was from Ohio, if it wasn’t cause I saw her drivers lisence. We started a small conversation, and asked her what part she was from. She was like I am from Lima. I was like cool. She was like are you from up there, and I said nope, but there is a friend up there that I would like to visit. She was like really, where at. I was in Cinncy. She was like ah, it so beautiful up there. When you cross the Kentucky line, and go into Cinncy, you have the Red Soxs stadium on one side, and the Bengals on the other. She was like I think you would really like it. I was like how much farther is Lima from Cinncy. She was about 100 miles. So I said the weather in the fall, how is it, she was like its cool, not cold. But the farther north you go, you might want to pack a heavy jacket. I was like cool. Any other time, I would not have thought nothing more about her, than what I had. But see, I pretty much have seen just about everybody that lives in my town, at one time or the other. When I saw this lady, I had no idea who she was. And she said she had been living there for about 4 months already. I was taken aback. So when I was driving home last night, I was thinking about it, and what if it was a sign. I mean she didn’t know me, and yet said in not so many words, that I needed to go, cause i would so love it. I shared that with D, and well the reaction was suttle. Its all good. A little is better than nothing. Never say never…

Jp