Ages

It might have been a long while, but I am still around. Still not wanting to dissapoint anybody. I have been up to no good. Well not really, I just don’t bother writing in here anymore. I have said it once, and will say it again, not to many people to read my intresting stuff. Not like i have a whole bunch of intresting things going on, but I just like to keep to myself. I am not troubled, nor do I use that as an xcuse for people to write in here. BUt for the most part, this is the kind of people that OD has attracted. Ok that was not nice, but I am not going to change it or delete it. I say what I feel and feel as I must. I have seen many of entries, and that all basicly deal with someone wanting attention. I often do ask myself.. is that what I am looking for..Attention. Na, I think I have enough of that, and I don’t need to share the affect of others, that might or might not know me. But for those that still read this from time to time, and have been wondering where I have been, well I am here to tell you..that I am still here.

I have managed to in one way or another to get into speaking terms with D again. To be honest, I didn’t think that would ever be possible. Yeah, I am not to optimistic. What I thought was done, stick a fork in it, is starting to come back to life. I am enjoying every bit of it. I feel so comfortable when I talk to her, it is just to weird to put into words. Everything just flows. Unless of course, I have been drinking. We have came close many a times, to going our own ways, but for some reason or the other..it just dosen’t happen. Most of the time, when she wants to call it quits, it is cause of the alchol in me talking. So I have pledged not to talk to her when I am intoxicated. Kinda like tonight, don’t know why I did it,.thought I was being cool..but I called her…I was drinking…Half way thru the voice mail, cause she never answers, I realized that I should not have done what I was doing. Sure enough, she called right back, but I didn’t answer. I xplained to her over txt messaging, what the problem was, and why I didn’t answer. If she believed it, fine, if she though I was being lame, fine. But I was being honest. I will not put myself or her thru what we have been thru again. It isn’t fair, and it isn’t fun. So that is that..

I ams till stuck at the same job..Two years and not one raise. Maybe a sign for me to move on..I think so. But I can’t helpmyself and stay. I am not sure. I need to do something..and do it fast. Ah who am I kidding this isn’t working…

Bueno Bye