#2

I ended up having bad dreams throughout the night, most likely an after effect from the panic attack. At least they weren’t full on panic inducing nightmares because God knows have I had my share of those. I can’t count the times I have woke myself up from literally screaming and crying…so I’ll take a slightly uncomfortable dream to that any night. Today was calm and low key, a typical Monday for around here. I enjoyed the weather as it was quite overcast and cold, making for an extra cozy type of day. Fall is my favorite season. I still can’t believe how fast October went by, or so it seemed. But seeing as how October is my favorite month, I’m sure that is why it couldn’t last long enough. If I include this day, then just four more days until my 31st Birthday. I might go out to eat and get some cupcakes, depends on if I feel like doing anything and having extra money spent for a meal out. I opted out on dying and getting my hair cut so we could have a fairly comfortable budget for Thanksgiving. Although no one is coming over this year, just me, myself, and him. I was bummed at first but then to look on the bright side- I don’t have to see my half sister who always manages to say something gross, stupid, perverted or all of the abovementioned, and we’ll have more food for leftovers. You ever just look at someone’s face and that’s enough to get on your nerves? That is how it is with her. She’s a terrible human being who caused tragic things to happen to my niece that are so awful I won’t even speak of. So I don’t feel like this towards her for no reason, my feelings are more than normal considering. I will never understand how someone could treat their daughter so terribly and continuously put her in harm’s way for her entire life. The things that my niece confided in me haunts me to this day, gave me literall nightmares and truly broke my heart, and all her mother had to say was, “Well I didn’t know, it’s not my fault.” Yeah ok sure, like I’ll ever buy that line. It completely baffles my mind. I got to get off this topic and try to relax. It’s almost time for supper, we are having chicken pot pie this evening and I’m quite looking forward to it. Goodbye for now.