Trying not to rush it

 I want to exercise!!!   I started looking up some ways to get around the whole wait 6 weeks before doing any exercises and then I read some pretty shocking and gross stories about women who had c sections ripping open inside and out…making their scars much worse and also causing hernias. I don’t really know what a hernia is but it doesn’t sound like something I want. So I am much more nervous now about the idea of rushing it, and think I will just have to put up with carrying around this extra weight for 3 more weeks until the doc gives me the okay to work out.   I won’t be able to hop right back onto my pole of course, because I no longer have ANY strength, and my abs were pulled apart and must mend back together.

Baby B is fussing and crying for no reason again.  Thats the hardest part.  I just wish I knew what was bothering him so much that he is crying. 🙁   

All part of being a mommy I suppose.    I have decided after much thought that i am not upset about being a mom, or being domesticated in any way. But I am tired of living in a strict routine with no surprises left in my life. Not much time for romance between me and Joe, just time for me to stress out about the messes he makes that I have to clean up after, and time for baby B. Which, the only problem is that I don’t work right now so I never leave the apartment. I have no excitement, or fun. I just live my life in these walls and every two hours its the same thing. It’s so predictable. And THAT is the worst thing.  I need surprises in my life. I went from being a huge party girl, never knowing where I would even END UP that night, or the next day, to this. I think it just all happened without there being a gradual change, and now I need to find a happy medium PLEASE!