Scattered Thoughts.

The frills have certainly been removed from Open Diary it would seem.  Reading back on my old entries the other night in the middle of a bout of depression certainly opened my eyes.  I have always fallen in love too fast, too hard.  I can say the same about myself now.  I have been through a divorce, and re married in the span of a year and a half. Some people may call me crazy, perhaps I am. But I am only able to be who and what I am..and nothing more or less.

I was married from 11/17/2013 until 3/6/2020.  Seven years. There were times in the marriage where my then husband moved out and we saw other people. It truly was a low point in my life.  I lost a bunch of weight, got down to 118lbs.  I wasn’t really prioritizing myself or my health. I went through a cancer scare, and after putting off treatment for two years, I ended up having surgery to remove the pre cancerous cells from my cervix.  I have hpv, thanks to the way those months went in 2018.    I found myself in a dark place, settling for less and less in the people I surrounded myself with.  I did however, find myself financially on top for a while, probably because I was so busy saving money instead of spending it, and the tips from Tiger Tail were always decent. I never went home with under 150 in tips, and if I did I WAS PISSED!

It probably comes as no surprise to anyone that Dani from D-wing ended up in dive bikini bar for 13 years. I do suppose it has been the cause of all the good things that I have over my lifetime. I was able to buy a home, sell it, met my sons father there..( although I wish that he wasn’t the father I will say I lucked out on us being able to co parent quite well together and that alone is worth it.

I have so much more I want to unload, but currently..I just can’t seem to put my fingers to the keyboard..that and I should be making the website for the bar we stupidly bought in the middle of covid.