I thought this was MY life?

  My family needs to learn when enough is enough. They haven’t been around for me, or supported me mot of my life, and now that I have a baby it’s like they are trying to take over and tell me what is right from wrong and what is acceptable and what I should or shouldn’t be settling for.  They have major problems with Joe, and can’t seem to respect him or his family. They are different from my family in many ways, but they have at least always been there for each other and take each other seriously. My family is quick to judge and be crude. I hate it.  Since me and Joe have problems monetarily, obviously because I don’t work…they are all over him about how he isn’t trying hard enough, and how he needs to go out and find a second job. He is making 10 an hour right now, but he just got the job the day brendon was born. Before that he was working some shady hours for the workplace temp service, and they would only work him sometimes once to three time weekly, which wasn’t enough.  So things have been more stressful for us than anyone can imagine, with all the bills we have to pay but can’t. My family cornered him the other night telling him I would leave him if he didn’t start to support us better, and help out more with domestic things around the house that I have trouble doing since the surgery..   I know that they sort of mean well, but why NOW? Why do they suddenly seem to care more about this baby, MY baby than they ever did me…and how come they won’t see that Joe is here to stay.  He is wonderful to his child, and to me, when he is awake enough to help lol.  He is a bit disorganized and all, but really he is a great man. And he loves us and would do anything to make us happy. 

my mom says he is low class and below me because he doesnt make the money my dad does. Well it pisses me off because how high class am I??? My dad used to beat me and my mom, and had a problem with coke. I have done many drugs…mushrooms, coke, pot, ecstacy…my mom is an alcoholic. I  was an exotic dancer for over a year. Why am I such a higher class? I say FUCK that. I am just a person who lives my life. Let me be.

She says that while my dad was a cheater and abusive, since he could financially support us that makes it ok. whatever. She is delusional. End of story.

I went out tonight for the first time in foreverrrrr. I saw Danielle for her bday, and Amanda and her new boyfriend. They had been fighting all day I guess, which kinda sucks because they have only been dating a week and 4 days.  He was super quiet and withdrawn and didnt want to really talk much, and she looked pretty pissed.  Danielle was drunk as hell and on coke and all upset that amanda had so much baggage out while celebrating her bday. They will get over it. I had two beers, and came back home to Joe and baby. Over all I spent just over an hour out, and that was good enough for me. I didn’t want to get wasted or spent a lot of time away from Baby B. He is my life now, and while it was really nice to see a few friends, my family will always come first.

I’m surprised to see how many people from my high school ended up dating or getting married to others from my high school.. I know not all of them moved away and stuff, but people say that you won’t really keep in contact that much with people from those days but maybe now because of all the social networking and stuff its more plausible.

Well Baby B is asleep and has been for a lil bit so I should prolly try to catch a nap before he wakes back up.