Angry

 I guess I asked for it. I wanted a surprise in my life and I got it.  I found my Billy Blanks Tae Bo video, which I know is probably still too much for me to do until after my 6 week check up….but I was going to attempt it anyways. So I moved the coffee table out of my way and noticed some discs stacked up all hidden like.

Then it REALLY hit me.. I noticed the initials S.C on it.  The same initials as the disc I found way back when me and Joe started dating and the disc was of his friend sarah, naked and playing with herself.  He is really good friends with her, and he stole those videos off her computer while watching her kids while she was out with her bf one night.

Well I cracked that disc, and told him just how shitty that made me feel that he had been looking at that and dating me.  He said there werent anymore and that he was sorry.

Well, I found 3 more. And fuck him if he thinks I deserve that.   He was also checking out stars dancing photos again. Well, obviously since I am not in dancer shape anymore he needs to start looking at the girls that still are. I should never have thought he would change.

Him looking at porn is no big deal…but jacking off to a girl he can call up on the phone and her kids call him uncle joe, or the girl he stopped talking to me to fuck back in the beginning of when we met..well you have betrayed my trust and I am not feeling forgiving anymore.

In other news, my treadmill was making funny noises last night, so I couldn’t use it. But I did do some stretches, squats, and just a little 3lb weight on my arms to help get me started. I did some leg lifts too…haha soooo not fun. I just wanted to make sure I did a little something just to not remain dormant all day and night.  Tonight I got back on the treadmill as the noises seemed to cease, and worked on it for 20 minutes on full incline. I was sweating up a storm and couldnt WAIT to get off of it.  It’s a start!!  

Can’t  buy the slim fast just yet, but im not really looking forward to it because I have a feeling I won’t like the taste of the shakes.