Use Your Head
I’M BACCKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But for real I took a bit of time off for personal reasons. I have also found that replying to comments gives me anxiety. Who knew, right? But then again the anxiety is strong in this one…. lol If you comment on my stuff I’m gonna do my best to return the love, but I’m not gonna drive myself nuts. I got nothing but love for you, but I’ve also got like a billion spinning plates in the air.
So a bunch of stuff has happened, obviously. This year has been an absolute shit show for pretty much everyone in the world. Thankfully I’ve been a bit of an exception. Things are going relatively smooth in my world. Our twins are 19 months old and thriving. Super cute too 🙂 but I’m probably biased. I have been working to enroll in college (AGAIN) and get debt forgiveness for my first go at it. It turns out that after the University shut down the turned over records to a 3rd party. I contacted it per my states instruction for my closed institutions and they were unable to locate my transcripts. SOOOO I’m starting from scratch as a 32 year old stay at home mom…that’s still 16K in debt from the first go round. I’ll fight it, and hopefully get it forgiven. In the meantime there is a lot of stuff to do to get college ready. I know in my heart that it is time, but my goodness…I’m fucking tired ya’ll. I just want something to work without a shit ton of extra work. *face palm*
So now for my title… My husband and I are also car shopping right now. I have a 2005 Chevy Equinox purchased used in 2015. It’s seen some things and it’s not exactly the most reliable. My family lives an hour and a half away and most of the trips have been on hold due to trip concerns. It’s been doing this wonky thing with the dashboard lights and actual head lights not going off. My last trip to KY I had to get a jump in order to get home. I was a nervous wreck the entire drive home afraid my car was just gonna implode. Not a real thing, but…the anxiety thing again. We’ve been on the search and myself being the day time and customer service person I’ve reached out and did the foot work. I provided 2 options to go look at it, well then a few nights ago he decided he wanted a newer car to last longer. Makes sense, I’m cool. So I’ve provided some more options one being a 4 year newer version of the original. My husband makes decisions about as fast as paint dries and I respect that….but he keeps changing shit. So today I took it upon myself to go look at the newer vehicle and get a feel for it. FELL IN LOVE. I would have NEVER even thought of a newer car for financial reasons, but since Josh suggested it I went. I get home and tell him about it and he kind of spazzes and tells me to USE MY HEAD, we can’t afford a payment like that. Ya’ll…. I needed some Jesus in that moment cause I wanted to punch him in the face. I’m a very realistic and grounded person, but I’m also a literal person. If you TELL me something, I take it for the actual value not what you think you meant. We’re presently on very awkward terms, he’s frustrated at me for not knowing what he actually meant when he’s changed things 3 times. I’m frustrated because I got my hopes up based on our most recent conversation and now I feel like a small child in the grocery store being told to put the candy back on the shelf. I’m a strong, capable individual and I hate being made to feel like that. So I have handed over the decision making to him in it’s entirety, so we might have a newer vehicle by 2022. Wish me luck!!!
-Kayla