oh, hey. I actually still live

I’ve been thinking of coming back here to write an update for awhile now.  Motivation is limited and my lack of time hasn’t helped.  I hardly feel like I have a moment to myself during the day and I feel completely done once I get to sit down in the evening.  I’m just proud of myself that I have been knitting in the evening again instead of letting my brain ooze out of one ear while I watch something on Netflix and mindlessly check Facebook or play something equally mindless like Angry Birds.  

So, yeah.  This year.  I actually wish I was more motivated to write this year.  It’s been a huge year as far as getting my shit together and really settling into being myself without drama.  It’s probably the most confident I’ve ever been in myself and I’m glad it’s finally coming together.  I still have quite a ways to go but it’s been a definite soul changing year. 

So, the highlights?  

Kids are the kids – wonderful, tireless, constantly testing and challenging but worth every minute.  They are 6 and 4 now and doing amazingly well.  I love seeing how much they’ve matured in the last year, especially Lily.  She is my angel.  So is John but he is my challenge and certainly the one that makes me go deep within myself and learn about who I am, what I feel, and what I want to change.   He can bring out the best and the worst in me.  

We are still homeschooling and are in the throws of doing things for first grade.  Lily does some things but really shows no interest so I don’t push it.  I don’t use a specific curriculum but making sure to cover what he needs to know with various books, activities, and such.  He’s amazingly smart but tirelessly stubborn.  Some days can be a fight when we are both in the wrong head space.  Speaking of, his absolute love is all things space so we’ve been doing a lot of learning about that.  We’ve learned our planets and then some.  I’ve certainly done my share of learning as well.  We got a family Christmas gift of a telescope.  I’m so looking forward to all the nights we’ll spend using that thing in the next year.  

Hubby is doing well.  He finally found a job where he gets to work from home and that started at the end of July.  It was an interesting start and the transition took longer than I expected.  We had a pretty big hurdle when he had a sudden onset of appendicitis the day after Lily’s birthday.  Things definitely stabilized and I like having him home.  It certainly has made things in life easier from time to time.  Marriage is always a work in progress with its ups and downs.  We finally manged to get things more into the upswing after our trip away to celebrate our tenth wedding anniversary in October.  I’m hoping it continues.

I’m doing pretty well.  I managed to finally stabilize my hormones which made weight loss a reality again.  It’s been a good feeling to see accomplishment for a change.  It’s been slow and steady but definitely successful.  I have managed to lose more than I had ever hoped to during the year.  I’m down about forty pounds this year and with the ten or fifteen from the end of last year, I have lost just a bit over fifty.  I wouldn’t mind loosing another ten and getting to my initial big milestone (when I get there, I promised myself I’d buy myself a digital SLR) but I don’t know if I have the willpower to avoid all the holiday yummies to be aggressive enough to do it by the end of the year.  We’ll see.  I’m happy either way and I’ll certainly do it in January.  I know I can maintain until then.  

and otherwise, just a huge year sorting things out.  I’m certainly not done cleaning out that personal closet of skeletons and such but I made a dent.  I wouldn’t mind journaling about it more.  I’m considering starting up another journal to get through it all.  Mainly because I want to make sure I can make it more private ensuring I can write openly without feeling like I have to watch how much I divulge.  Certainly, there are some favorites I’m willing to add and let know of the new diary.  If you have interest, just make sure you note me here and I’ll et you know once I start it.  Oh and here’s a recent pic of me.  

and another one

And with that I’m going to try and head off to bed.  Hubby is away on his first business trip.  We said goodbye to him this morning and he won’t be back until early Saturday morning (after midnight sometime).  It should make for an interesting week and maybe it will give me some time to write.