Update.. oh yeah
My arms hurt. I went to Nellys grad party yesterday w tanya. It wasnt too bad. We ate, jumped on a trampoline, played pool, and all that good stuff. Then we came back to Nellys house, and went to play basketball, because on Friday I met this new guy at the basketball court, he lives in Ft Wayne and his name is John. Hes cute, kinda, but looks young. Hes a year behind me in school, but hes still cool. But alas, I couldnt give up my Mexican. We didnt talk to John, so we went back to nellys house and ate pizza and drank wine coolers. Well, I TRIED to drink a wine cooler, but i think it tasted like shit, and plus i have a huge aversion to alcohol anyway, so I didnt even drink half. Im just not a drinker, I guess.
Damn, my cat is fucked up. She always licks my deoderant off when I wear a tanktop, so now I have a little BO because she ate my deoderant. OH well.. *sigh* Im supposed to see Eric today, hopefully. I hope. I hope. Hes wierd.. our relationship is wierd. But I dont care..
I keep having dreams about school.. the day before yesterday there was one that took place last year, my cat was in it.. and Justin Buchs was in it, and g*$d@!# he is one sexy mother fxcker! OOhh, baby! So anyway, I also dreamed then about cleaning out my locker, but I couldnt get all the stuff out. I dont know what that means. Then last night I dreamed about getting my schedule and registering for school this year, but i didnt have my ID so I couldnt do anything. This all took place at what was like a mix between krogers and walmart. I dont know what that means either. I was with my friends in that dream, and I remember saying “Maybe our classes will be switched around so we can be together”.. so I tried to pull out my ID but it was only a 10 minute phone card. Interesting, eh? Not really..
Anyway, Im lazy as hell, so I dont know what to write. SO Im goin. CYAZ
RYN: Thank you very much! I appreciate you saying what you said. I just feel like she doesn’t understand how I feel and just worries about how she feels. And then I feel guilty because I’m supposed to be there for her, no matter how I feel, because I love her. I don’t feel like she’s doing the same thing. I don’t want to question her love. But should it matter, because I love her?
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<—-It shouldn't matter, if it's true love, right? I mean, I'm supposed to do what ever I can to keep it. Then how do I let go of how I feel, to be there for her? And then if it's not good enough, what do I do then? It's like this big cycle and I don't know how to make it stop.
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