Scroll,baby,scroll! Emotions..

So, today hasnt really been very interesting.. Yesterday evening I called Renee and I went to her house.. basically her dad tried to stalk us, and then we went to wal mart after renee’s cheery menopause mom went to bed.. and i got home at like 1030 or 11, but didnt get to sleep till past midnight. And Im kinda in a bitter mood, now that I think about it.. see, i went to the doctor last month, and I was supposed to get appointments to all different sorts of doctors for different health problems, and then i was supposed to go back to the original doctor a month later.. well, it would have been a month this next thursday.. and i didnt get any of the appointments that i was supposed to get, and my mom even tells me that i cant go back to the original doctor because they dont have enough money. And sure, it would have all been fine, but I have a few issues with that. See, they seem to have enough money to take my sister to the dermatologist every other week, and they seem to have enough money to take our dog to the vet all the time to get different shots , and even buy some stupid prescription dog food for him.. (by the way, they havent taken my cat to the vet once in the 2 years that we’ve had her-even though shes had 2 miscarriages,and never appears to be TOO healthy, but weve had the dog for just a couple months and hes been to the vet like 6 times) But still, Ive been having health problems for a long time, but they always seem to just push all of my shit aside and deal with other things. I mean, I was supposed to go to the neurologist to make sure theres nothing wrong with my brain, or to make sure I didnt have a fucking tumor or something..but do i get to go? No. And I have this thing on my toe that could be cancer, and i was supposed to go get it checked out..But do I get to go? No. And I was supposed to get my spine xrayed,to make sure THATS not fucked up. But do I get to go? No. And I was supposed to be put on anti depressants or at least something to lessen all of my stress and anxiety.But do I get to go back to the doctor and get all that checked out? ::Say it with me now, folks!:: NO! I think i will have to be more that half dead, and be coughing up blood before I will get any damn attention. It just makes me sooooo mad, that I feel like Im being treated like nothing, a big fucking pile of shit.. It feels like they could give a fuck less about me, as long as Im not dead, and as long as I can still walk, etc. I just think something could be really wrong with me, and they just spend all of their fucking time ignoring it. I just cant wait till I can take myself to the doctor, so I dont have to worry about this shit anymore. I mean, its fucking retarded.

*sigh*

But anyway.. to get on to something else..

I just miss Simon right now.. I just want to hug him, never let go and stay in his arms forever.. I miss his smell.. I miss his voice, and his cute little german accent.. I miss how he would kiss my hand, for no reason..I miss his touch!..I miss how, out of nowhere, he would say something so unbelievably funny or cute… I even miss how he would make fun of Kevin because he is a really fat guy whose face is always red, even when he eats.. *sigh* But, we go back to school the day after tomorrow, so I guess thats something to look forward to.

Ahh.. this home life is driving me crazy! But I guess I should go, for some reason that I dont really know.. i will write later, cyaz!