I’m okay!

Hey guys, sorry for not writing much! I’ve been pretty dern lazy as far as OD is concerned (well I’ve still been reading and occasionally noting, but not making many entries at all).

Anyway, last time I talked about having a pretty bad day. This was because it was Valentine’s Day, and Ian got the idea in his head that he needed to/got to impress me and bring me crap. This got on my nerves because we aren’t dating, and I’ve spent some time trying, unsuccessfully, to get this through his head. Well, he bought us Cirque du Soleil tickets. Usually this would rock pretty hard because I’ve been wanting to go to that, but he didn’t even ask if I was free. Plus I have been refusing to hang out with him because of his romantic persistence, so these expensive tickets ($130!) made me feel like I was being forced to hang out with him. I know I should have just sucked it up and gone with him, but I’ve just gotten so tired of him always watching me, wondering where I am, laughing really loudly when I’m around, and just generally putting so much energy into something that’s not going to happen, that I couldn’t stand the thought of being alone with him in what I would consider a date setting. I just got so tired of it that this (as well as some other piece of office drama) led me to shut myself in my team’s office and cry over lunch. Carie, Renae and Karoline came in though and were pretty awesome and willing to listen to me complain.

Oh, Ian also supposedly found some roses in a creek by his house that were "perfectly good", so he brought them into work for me. I don’t want to sound like I’m making a big deal out of nothing, but after awhile his relentless adoration is not only annoying but also kindof sad/scary–how could he not take the hint, or not respect when I tell him I’m not interested? Anyway, later that day I told him that, though I did appreciate the sentiment, I wanted him to back off. He reacted pretty defensively, saying "I’m glad I didn’t have to pay for the flowers. You’re not worth it". He said that he also hopes I find a good man once I resolve my issues. After a few rather mean texts he came back and said that he still did want to be friends, but I was just ignoring him. I’ve still been ignoring him for the most part, though he did invite me to go downtown with him (and a few other people, supposedly) for his birthday tomorrow. I don’t think I’m going to go. I don’t trust his intentions, and don’t trust him to respect the fact that I don’t want a romantic relationship. I have just been distant from him lately because I don’t want to put in the energy or deal with the drama.

Anyway, so there’s that. I hung out with Paul this weekend and that was pretty awesome. We saw "There Will Be Blood" (which is a really intense movie, and really good), ate at a few different restaurants and just generally hung out. It was nice to see him again, and the dynamic of our relationship is the same as it has always been. I don’t know what else to say, it was just a good and relaxing weekend. I didn’t particularly enjoy the drive though (5-6 hours each way). I did manage to use some of that time to talk to mom and Autumn on the phone.

This week is maintenance week at work. This means we prune trees all day every day. This is actually pretty tiring, and I’m not looking forward to it very much. Oh, this weekend I’m coordinating my first planting EVER at a local park… I’m kindof nervous, but I guess I just need to do it. I’ll update more about that later.

Okay, that’s all for now. It’s 1230am and I really need to get some sleep.