Bleeding from the inside

I really don’t mind periods. After 10-11 years I have pretty much gotten used to them (and have at times been very happy that they came)… it’s just the first day that I hate. Jesus, the first day is always the worst. I just want to point out that today is Thursday, and I am just starting. That’s only an inconvenience because my birth control pack ended last Sunday, meaning that’s when I was supposed to start. Now my period has 3 days to wrap up before I start the next round of BC. Oh well, it could be worse. Oh yeah, this entry title is supposed to be melodramatic, not gross (Oh, I’d also like to mention that I know everyone necessarily bleeds from the inside).

careful, I’m totally PMSing man, and I will cut you.

So I have been browsing a lot of diaries lately (as well as looking through my own entries), and there is an epidemic I would like to mention: teenage poetry. It’s awful. Sweet god, it’s so bad. Don’t worry, I have been a part of this and am not happy about it. Some people actually can write, but most of it is vague whining. I know, I know, it’s meaningful at the time, but looking back it’s just kindof embarassing.

And dear god, I never thought I’d see the day when I lump teenagers into one group and complain about them… well, at least not so soon.

Today I have been looking for places to stay in SJ.. sending out emails, trying to make connections, looking at apartment reviews online. I think my eyes are going to be permanently damaged from starting at a computer for 2 weeks.

I try not to blabber on about the boyfriend, but things are going really well between us. I just feel bad for him because he hates his job, but proud that he is really digging in and looking for grad schools (and deciding what he wants to do with his life). I also appreciate the fact that he has been endlessly supportive of me over the past 2 1/2 years, which is something I really need.

I have been getting the urge to dig up all of my old philosophy books and read through them all again. How can I have a Bachelor’s in philosophy if I can’t even remember half of the shit I worked so hard to learn? Ehh.. oh well.

Some of the Americorps girls have added me as a friend on facebook. Oh, by the way, if any of you have Facebook, I made a profile for my cat. It might be something you have to log in to see… and if that’s the case, I’m sorry for providing this useless link.

Anyway, Thea mentioned getting a library card, and I think that might be a good idea. I doubled my usual intake of coffee today (2 cups!!!) and am ready to f’ing party. At the library.