Babble from a tired mind

I dont even know why im writing in here.. marcus isnt online anymore, and im tired and really want to go to bed, but for some reason I had to write. I dunno what the hell Im doing. Ive been writing A LOT in my diary lately.. I dont know if anyone can keep up with all my entries.

So I dunno whats up with me. I been wanting to get with marcus. And by that i mean wanting to break up w/ eric and just ask marcus if i could be his girlfriend.. but hell, it would be a long distance online thing, and I didnt have a good experience with a long distance relationship (-Brent-). And who knows what marcus thinks.So I dont know if Im just thinking crazy, but its something that Ive thought about. And this is strange.. right now i feel really uninhibited about what i type, because its almost 2 o’clock in the morning and Ive had caffeine but Im also really tired and i was listening to dave matthews, so everythings cool.. and I feel like I can type whatever I want.And if you dont like it, dont read this thing, biotch!

Josh just IMed me.. its kinda surprising bc I dont talk to him much online..its cool though. He heard about me wanting to move when I graduate.. its all good.

Roger was pissing me off earlier because he was complainig about how Ive been getting online way too much lately. But I havent been getting on a lot. I told him that my mom said I could get online, and he said “well, she should have asked me first” and that really pissed me off..Im a smart ass, so I said in a really high pitched voice “Aww, someones in a bad mood!” and i think he got cranky. But hell, hes the one who spends a lot of time on the phone making long distance phone calls which cost a lot of money. But I cant even get on AOL which we have unlimited use for anyway. But whatever.. its his problem. I want to move so I can get away from him.. boy, that would be nice!

Ive been feeling wierd around eric lately. He has just been getting on my nerves because sometimes I feel like hes trying to make me feel bad in certain situations.. I dont think its right for him to try and make me feel bad. Or to think he expects certain things from me and certain times. If this isnt making sense, SORRY, but its almost 2 AM and Im kinda just typing really fast and not really paying attention to my sentence structure. Trying to keep my spelling in order is work enough.

Roger usually gets all nazi about me having food in my room.. i had some chex mix in there today, laid out on the floor, plain as day, my mom came in and what did she say? Keep those chex mix, but hide them away! Actually, she straightened up my room and put them in a bag. Which I thought was cool.

Josh is talking to me about a lot of stuff.. about kelsey, marcus, his friend aaron, some bitchy looking girl i saw outside his apt, and so on. Interesting, eh? Probably not to people reading this

WELL DAMN, I think this is long enough. Roger probably wont let me got online during the day tomorrow, so Ill have to wait till a precise moment to sign on.. strange, its like i have to be a ninja to use my own damn computer. I NEED A COVERT OPERATION.Ok Im leaving now..