A difficult conversation.

So, Dan and I have been making some shitty plans to actually meet sometime, but I guess now its all coming together, which is something strange.

He brought it up because if he did come it would be around new years.. and he said that the longer he waits to get tickets, the more it will cost.. and that makes sense that he wouldnt want to spend tons of money, because hes in college and only works on the weekends.

Anyway, that was part of the emial I got from him this morning.. so, a little while ago I talked to my mom about it.. she knows about Dan, but I suppose I dont talk about him very much around her, for the fact of thinking she might not accept it or even worse, be completely opposed to it. So anyway, I went up to her earlier and just blurted everything out. There was a lot of silence, and she told me of some of the worries that she has in the back of her head. I guess I can understand because I am her daughter and theres this guy online who wants to fly over 2300 miles just to see me, and all that stuff. Plus it could be dangerous.

So, she seemed quite uncomftorable with the whole thing.. but anyway, at the end she just told me to have him email her a few times or they could talk or something so she could get a feel for him and actually get some kind of idea what his plans might be. I just feel bad for some reason, even though I really shouldnt because she didnt actually say NO and she is willing to give it a chance.

It was a difficult thing to just go up and to, and to actually explain it all to her and to put myself in a very vulnerable situation.

But I really do care about him, and anyone who says its not possible to have a meaningful relationship online can screw off. I care about him, I trust him, and I have every intention to actually meet him and then we can actually be together..

Hes been nothing but good to me even with all the shit that we both have been through. I dont want to worry to far into the future, like after I graduate and stuff.. right now the farthest Im looking ahead is to around the time when he might be able to come.

Damn, I really wish he wasnt at work right now so I could talk to him. oh well. I have butterflies in my stomach, Im a bit queasy.. this kind of situation just isnt good for me, I guess. But hes worth it.

Thats enough for now, methinks. I got a pretty good sized entry out of this..

::sigh::

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