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Tonight I was talking to my married but getting divorced, middle son. We were talking about my eldest son who has no life and is a loner. He is "working" in my hubby’s old business but it is just about dead. He has some friends but they are all married. He is not motivated to do anything. He is not looking for another job. He is not dating or socializing with anyone. He doesn’t go anywhere where he might meet some friends.
So this is my son’s idea. What do you think?????
He suggested that we hire someone who would pretend to be my son’s friend and encourage him in all aspects of his life. Someone who would call him to go to movies, parties, bowling etc. Someone who would encourage and support him to make changes so he would get a life. Someone who would draw him out of his shell. he went to a psychologist a few years ago but then quit. I guess he wasn’t ready to follow her suggestions.
I told my son to ask his psychologist tomorrow. Now what do you think?
I feel so sad that this son has NO life. Do I just stay out of it?
He lives alone.
He works alone.
He is living a very sad life.
He is shy.
He has no confidence.
it sounds like a good suggestion but i would worry he would figure out the guy was not sincere and being paid. Perhaps your sons could spend time together and your middle son could take your older one out.
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Your son needs antidepressant medication. I think it would be hard to arrange someone as a hired friend…it sounds like that movie “Failure to Launch.” Once he gets on the right medication, he will move forward with his life, I’ll bet. I’m sure it’s difficult seeing him living like he does.
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I agree with the above noter. Meds are needed. Hope his life gets better. I’m sure it is difficult for him right now. Best wishes. I hope this works out for him and all of you.
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Go rent the movie “Failure to Launch” before you do that. On the surface it sounds like a good idea, but there are some pitfalls. I mean how would your son feel about someone who was paid to be his friend. It’s great that you love him enough to extend the effort, but it’s just the thing of someone hired as compared to a real friend.
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I’ve never known anyone like that. It’s a puzzle. I think the idea of finding someone to “bring him out” is sound, but how and who stumps me. Do research the idea. Son asking psychologist is one place to look. Try to find if there has been any one like him and is there any treatment and how it worked out. He can’t be one of a kind. Good luck.
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Yes it does sound a good idea…worth a try. Sadly, people lacking motivation to that extent often need professional help, but he probably wouldn’t recognise he has a problem anyway. Sounds like a low self-esteem issue to some extent……keep reminding him how much he is loved….that can help too. Good luck. hugs P
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He sounds like he needs professional care. Like a “how to be a friend and make a friend” kind of stuff. If you do hire someone, hire a person who can “walk” him through all the steps to do this on his own.
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Aye, ahoy my worried Lassie, shiver me timbers! Unless your son wishes to walk the plank him bein’ a loner doesn’t signify a NO life situation as much as a lifestyle you don’t understand. Aye, talk with older lad and see if you can gain insight as to *why* he chooses so much alone time. Ye’ll never get me buried booty!
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