WRITING THANK YOU NOTES(edited)

Can it be that I don’t believe or can’t comprehend that my mother and brother have died????? Writing a few thank you notes every few days brings it back to reality. When I write I feel sad. It makes me think about them. But why don’t I feel devastated or really terrible because I lost two people? People say I have been through a difficult time. Why do I pretend it’s like nothing happened?

My daughter came in at this point so had to shut down quickly.

I appreciate all the comments. I especially relate to the one that said at our age we are “use” to death. Maybe we come to accept it as hard as it is and I think that is what I have done. I also have said that I cried plenty BEFORE their death so I was all cried out after. I explained to my daughter that I cried for my mother driving home in the car after visiting her. I cried for both in the car, in bed etc.

I guess I am just a private person. I don’t like others to see my emotions. I want to appear strong and perfect.

My hubby spoke to the office and there is a stack of mail she will send here. So I guess I will have even more thank you cards to send. I don’t mind as I will do a few each day.

Many times I can’t believe that once I die I will never be alive again. Other times I see it as a relief – no more problems etc.

Death is so final.