why-read

Many people make such a big deal out of everything they do. They cook great. They do this wonderful etc. I don’t know why but I never think I do anything great. I always think I could do better. I should have done better. I wonder why I never get excited by my accomplishments. I think my painting isn’t great. I look at them and think they’re childish.

I also am hard to please. For example today in the encaustic art I was ready to walk out. I have no patience. When I saw that he was teaching something very complicated I decided I would never do that. I would never want to do that. I guess it’s because I learned a much simpler method in Florida. I wasn’t going to go back next week but decided I should.

I am usually sad. I never get excited. I rarely smile unless someone smiles at me. I would like to make friends but always choose not to. I met this wonderful woman on the weekend. I should have asked to get together but I didn’t and now I’m sorry. Who knows if I will ever bump into her again. She is a quilter. I could use her help. I am doing so LOUSY with the quilting. I probably should give it up. I JUST CAN"T cut properly. I just checked my squares and they aren’t right. I will have to redo them. I will persist until the end of the classes anyhow.

I am very hard on myself. My expectations are high just for myself.

I am very self-conscious. I find it hard to make small talk. Tomorrow I will spend the afternoon with my daughter-in-law and my grandson. I would be thrilled if she would just leave me alone with him so I can relax. I am very inhibited with people around.

So I’ll stop complaining for now and read some of your entries.