WHY MEN ARE HAPPIER

BORROWED FROM MRS TOOT

Subj: Why Men are happier
  
  
   What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name
stays put. The
   garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is
   just another snack. You can be President. You can never be
pregnant. You can
   wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a
water park.
   Car mechanics tell you the truth.
  
      
   The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas
station
   restroom because this one is just too icky. You don’t have to
stop and 
   think of
   which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles
add
   character. Graying hair adds attraction. Wedding dress~$5000.
Tux rental~$100.
   People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
The occasional
   well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don’t
cut, blister, or
   mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are
over in 30
   second s flat . You know stuff about tanks.
  
  
  
   A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all
your own
   jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of
thoughtfulness. If someone
   forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your
underwear is
   $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than
enough. You almost
   never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see
wrinkles in your
   clothes.
  
   Everything on your face stays its original color. The same
hairstyle lasts
   for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and
neck. You can
   play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big
hips. One
   wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can
wear shorts no
   matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket
knife. You
   have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do
Christmas
   shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 mi nutes.
  
   No wonder men are happier. Send this to the women who can handle
it and to
   the men who will enjoy reading it.