WHAT TO DO WHAT TO DO-ok

I guess I am not good at relationships!!!!! For example I have two friends. One I see quite often as we go out to have supper with them at least once or twice a week. I also see them at bridge once a week and talk to her on the phone often. I never do much personally with the woman but I see them as a couple. The woman would probably like to see me more but we have little in common. This other woman I see once a week when we play bridge and rarely see her any other time. I did see her today at the pool.

So anyhow this pool woman wanted to play bridge just the four of us. She says that the hubby of the dinner woman really shouldn’t be playing as he doesn’t play well and doesn’t seem to even enjoy it. We are playing here tonight but I feel guilty about the other woman. I wonder if the "swimming" woman is trying to break us up. I don’t know what I will tell the "dinner" woman if she calls tonight. I guess I will tell her the turth but I will still feel guilty. On the other hand I don’t want to feel obligated with the dinner woman if I want to do something with another couple.

I guess this is confusing enough but would appreciate some input.

Time for lunch and messages.

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December 8, 2008

I am the last person in the world to give any irl friend advice… Good luck!

December 8, 2008

I think you should be honest! If she takes it as an insult then explain to her you are trying to be her friend and how you feel guilty. THEN I hope it comes out good for you! Have fun playing bridge. My Mother has played bridge for over 30 yrs and I do not even know how to play it! SMILE! Have a great evening!

December 8, 2008

I, too, think you should be honest about it:)

December 8, 2008

If the husband of dinner woman doesn’t enjoy playing bridge, it’s up to him to say he doesn’t want to play. But it seems very catty of pool woman to say to you, “let’s leave that couple out, because her husband doesn’t play bridge well!” Playing “well” at a certain game isn’t what friendship is about! Like one another’s company is what friendship is about. If pool woman only wants to spendtime with people who play “well”….well it’s her business, of course. But it’s up to you to decide what YOU want to do. Some women do not like their women friends to have OTHER women friends, I have found. They seem to feel that only two can be friends; three friends just won’t do. Maybe pool woman is one of those. hugs, Weesprite

December 8, 2008

It seems to me thst you just want to play bridge for fun right, it is not competitive. So I don’t think your friend should exclude the one husband even if he doesn’t play well. On the other hand he may not be playing well because he really doesn’t enjoy it and only feels obligated to go. You might be giving him a good out without realizing it. Just be upfront and honest and don’t feel guilty, it is supposed to be fun not stressful playing bridge.

December 8, 2008

I agree w/the honesty is the best policy thing. That’s just usually the best way to handle stuff. The only thing is to handle it honestly but with sensitivity and diplomacy so that feelings are dealt with gently.

maybe another time you can get another foursome together and can include both women and another couple, of course.

December 8, 2008

Who’s ‘in charge’ of the bridge night? Because it’s up to them to decide who they want to invite. If you want to know if the guy enjoys playing bridge why don’t you ask him? You don’t have to say ‘person X thinks you suck’ – that would hurt anyone’s feelings. (huggles)

December 8, 2008

honesty is best policy…but tact also helps. P

December 8, 2008

bubby is yiddish no? Its nice to hear it used outside of my community people generally have never heard of it. I think its really neat that its not just us young and foolish people are writing here. Its interesting to see life from a completely different perspective. I look forward to reading (just not at 3:30am) goodnight 🙂

December 9, 2008

Do what u think is right for YOU