WE TALKED
Hubby and I talked over lunch. He did realize that I was upset yesterday about him not going with me for supper. I told him that at least he could have said something. We didn’t reach any conclusion and I guess a lot of this is my fault! I am very difficult to please. The only thing that would make me happy here would be friends who did crafts with me or money to go shopping. When I said maybe I would just stay home some weekends he didn’t say anything. He did say he wouldn’t stay over tonight as he doesn’t want to desert me. The fact is that it wouldn’t bother me at all and maybe that’s the problem. I am driving him away by not being willing to compromise.
I have to accept the fact that the few friends I have here don’t do crafts. They shop and they sit around and chat.
I think I’ll go see where everyone is. Hubby already went so I guess I should get out of the trailer for awhile.
I am not sociable at all. So it all depends on me. Hubby is very social. He would stay over tonight. Our friends are going out for supper here. I don’t know. maybe I should just agree to stay over. We would go out for supper and leave in the morning.
I am glad you got to talk.. I sensed he didnt know how you were feeling.. Compromise is good so long as one person isnt doing all the compromising! The sociable thing can be a big issue.. I am not overly sociable and find it very hard being with someone who is.. I am however willing to meet halfway.. But is that enough for those who always need other people around?? I find that very sociable people have a lot of trouble having a quiet time at home.. they get bored.. however the non-sociable people dont seem to be as intolerant about having others around more often. So it tends to always go the way of the more sociable person. I hope you work things out..
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Glad you talked! Maybe the two of you could compromise in advance, i.e. decide when you’ll stay over and when you won’t. That way you both give in and both get your way sometimes. That’s what M and I do.
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How about finding a craft group for seniors? What about this? http://www.cummingscentre.org/main_about_us.html Here in Toronto the public library system organizes SO MANY free classes, lots of them are for seniors. What about something like that? Or check Craigslist under ‘community’. Anything there?
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Mr. LBH and I don’t do everything together and I think that’s a positive overall in our marriage.
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Good! I’m glad you talked! Don’t you feel so much better?
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Glad you talked but nothing got solved did it? Marriage is all about compromise and if neither of you are willing to do it then you may as well just do your own thing as you seem to have been doing for some time now. But on the other hand you should not then be upset if he does his own thing either. You can’t have it both ways.
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Hope you can find a group who shares your interests! RYN: Thanks for dropping by, Ginger. Good to see you again! 🙂
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Relationships change as we get older. We get into the habit of going our own way a lot, because when we were working full time and so on, that is sometimes what we had to do. I hope you can find a few things you can do together, I know that would help. Take care and just work on this one day at a time and I think things will improve somewhat. Love,
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My husband is very anti-social. He has no friends and doesn’t mind it that way. I am the total opposite. Being in this new place with such a culture change has been harder on me as, I am not really a homebody. My neighbors were always over back home, and I knew almost everyone in town. It is hard to have no one that shares interests. ((hugs)) With me (and not advising you at all), I loved whenTom went away on the trips by himself. I found things that I could do. Maybe there is a compromise there. Have you tried putting your name in at a JoAnn’s Fabric? They are always looking for craft buddies here. I don’t know if there is one there or not. Michael’s does also but, they charge to belong to the circles here. I am so glad you talked!
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Talking is the first step.
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It’s a good beginning and I’m proud of you for going introspective and addressing your own side of the story. It’s really a great start.
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I’m not very sociable either. My hubby is the opposite. Sometimes it is hard for us to deal with each other. I guess every marriage has its pitfalls.
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ryn: Mehmet and I go through stages of ‘where does our money go’ too. And then we start ‘charting’ again. We write down every cent we spend every day. After about a month it becomes very clear where we are spending too much. It’s a good idea! There are some good online household expense websites where you can chart for free. I recommend it!
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I am so glad you both talked….and hopefully listened to each other too. Your friends sound as if they live a rather shallow life, whereas you do appreciate the arts and crafts. Continue to enjoy those….they make you a more rounded person. Have a nice day… hugs P
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