THINGS I CAN’T ACCEPT

BUT SHOULD/NEED TO/BETTER ACCEPT

MY DEATH AND THE FINALITY OF IT
MY SON’S DIVORCE
BABIES IN DAY CARE
GOING TO THE TRAILER ON WEEKEND
SISTER’S NON-STOP TALKING
MEDICATION I’M ON
FOOD I CAN’T/SHOULDN’T EAT
CAN’T BUY EVERYTHING I WANT
CAN’T DO EVERYTHING I WANT TO
PROBABLY WON’T TRAVEL EVERYWHERE I WANT TO
I WILL NEVER FIND ANOTHER BEST FRIEND
THAT I AM NOT THE HAPPIEST PERSON AROUND
THAT I AM VERY NEGATIVE
THAT I DON’T CARE ABOUT SO MANY THINGS
THAT I LIKE TO BE ALONE
THAT I DON’T LIKE CALLING ON THE PHONE
THAT I WILL NEVER BE THIN
THAT HUBBY AND I WILL GROW OLD AND VULNERABLE
THAT I AM ONE MISERABLE PERSON MOST OF THE TIME
THAT MOST PEOPLE DON’T HAVE A CLUE WHAT I AM THINKING AND FEELING

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I think everyone feels and thinks most these things the vast majoirty of the time. I wonder why, when we’re really so similar we all feel so different and isolated? peace

April 30, 2010

Listing them is probably a good first step in changing some of them.

The unsigned note ending with “peace” was me, I don’t know why the thing logged me out.

April 30, 2010

Alot of these apply to so many people. At least you admit it.

April 30, 2010

You are as happy as you feel inside. Not one of those things can make you happy or unhappy, it is your reaction to them that makes you happy or unhappy. Happiness is a choice. I choose to be happy 90% of the time. I am trying for 100%.

April 30, 2010

ryn: He would be less than a few miles away from me if he moved which would be great for us. His daughter would be about 30 miles east of him. He sees her as much as a dad would see his daughter if she was living with her BF and working full time which would be occasionally. Band practice would be more of a challenge as he would have to go back to the city to be there, depending on how often theywould meet a week. The key is him getting a dependable car.

Some of those things aren’t necessarily permanent. You can tell your sister not to talk so much. You could still find another best friend. And you could try antidepressants. They can make a world of difference.

April 30, 2010

Sounds like some of my thoughts. We can still dream about doing some of those things,hehe. I did daycare for a long time, reason being that these parents wanted their child left with someone they knew. So I did it. Neat thing is when I walk down the street I can go see Nick, and then Hannah gets to come see me from time to time. Her own grandma takes care of her now. She still calls me Granny though. Fond memories. Love,

Your death ? silly you, hey YOU ARE ALIVE!!!! …so think about that focus on positive. BE YOU, think great things about yourself forget about thinking about your death. Think LIFE!!!! Le or la oops not sure Chiam or is it Chaim?