STILL DEPRESSING-OK
I’m still not feeling up. I’m still feeling down. I know I shouldn’t but I worry about my hubby losing his memory and what I will do.
I think I will have to keep busy so I don’t have time to think!
Today my cleaning lady was here and she helped me change my dishes. I did it half-assed because I just don’t care. Maybe I feel bad about it. I’m not sure. We didn’t find some cutlery. I don’t know if I threw it out last year on purpose or by mistake. Anyhow thankfully I have other cutlery that I can use for the seder.
As much as I enjoy staying home it gives me too much time to think. I must have slept two-three hours this afternoon.
I realize that hubby and I are getting older. I have trouble thinking about and accepting what the future will hold. In Florida I didn’t have these thoughts at all!!!!! Not sure if it’s because I was busier. Not sure if it’s because the sun was shining. Not sure if it’s because I didn’t have to think about Passover and preparing for a holiday I could care little about.
I just don’t know. I just feel trapped and alone. I feel that I have no one to talk to. I feel that I have some friends but no one I can turn to. I write here but it only helps a little.
I think about Herbalife. At times I feel so positive. At times I feel that I will make some money even though it won’t be a fortune. Other times I feel like just giving up.
I don’t know how to keep myself UP!!!!! I guess in the coming weeks I will register for some courses at the Golden Age and take my grandchildren during the week. Then once we go to the trailer on weekends I will be busier and I will start advertising for Herbalife.
I know it won’t erase the bottom line. I wonder if going to talk to a psychologist would help. What can she tell me except that I must accept the future.
Anyhow we are going out for supper. I’ll be back later.
I have many of these feelings, too. I try to remember to just take one day at a time. Otherwise, my brain starts shooting “what if” darts at me and I start worrying about things that may never happen. Even if they do happen, worrying will do no good. When I woke up this morning I was so depessed I was sure I had a terminal disease. I made myself get up and start moving and somehow managed to get outside and mow the yard. And YES — sunshine definitely helps so that may be why you felt better in Florida — as well as being busier. (The busy thing doesn’t always work for me. I need time to just putter around by myself). Talking to a therapist might help. I’ve thought about that myself lately. Sometimes just being heard helps us feel less alone. hugs,
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A psychologist can give you new coping skills…things you never thought of and new ways of looking at things. Find a good one. Change therapists if the first one isn’t exactly right. The right therapist will do you a world of good. You don’t have to be up all the time. I don’t think it’s even possible.
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All I can say is I am happier now than I ever have been. When I had everything I was miserable, Now I have next to nothing and I am happy. We become trapped by our possesions and they become a burden. All I care about now is my family and friends. Stuff is just stuff.
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RYN. You can make yourself happy by DOING THINGS YOU LOVE, instead of going to a psychiatrist. STAY clear of those guys. Humans can fix sadness by doing things they can enjoy. Once you start with doctors, they give you medicine (that’s what happened to my husband etc). and the medicines have side effects then they give you mediicines to fix the side effects and those medicines have their own sideeffects. Before you know it you are in the hospital with ALL tests to find out what’s wrong with you and it’s the medicines and the stupid docs doin’t even admit it. Make your self happy . BUSY yourself when you are unhappy . PAINT. go to meetup.com and joina group in your city. EVEN if there are none close, you can still join online and keep conversation with those that have the same hobby as you have. We travvelled yesterday about 60 miles to a group and had a WONDERFUL mini vacation, it was SO awseome and we met nice new people. (We have groups closer than that but this is our favorite group). We joined other groups and its so much fun. (We are retired lol, so we have time to do this) Make yourself happy and you will stay happy.
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If you go to a psychiatrist to make you happy, you will be happy ONLY temporarily and then you will be very very sick from the meds they give you. That is what happened to my husband and to an uncle. My husband died in the hospital and the uncle-in-law jumped out a window.–all due to the meds. Personally, we are against medicines, so we are happy NATURALLY, by doing things, being with people, etc. EVEN if you are NOT happy whne you are with people, trust GOD, and just keeep on being with people AND then your happiness will follow, this is promise. JUST keep trusing God, and do good things for you and good things for your family. And you will be happy. Just keep on trusting and doing. IF you make a life for yoruself TODAY, you will be able to bear with any loss, even with your husband. Don’tworry about that . Just live life. Make a happy today.
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You need some vitamins for older people to start with. Keep up the writing and really consider a therapist. Perhaps you can also consider watching some positive movies that can lighten your mood? And a support group would be nice. I often feel the same as you. Very often. You’re not alone, okay?
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