SOMETIMES- OK
Sometimes I get so overwhelmed and scared when I think of how old I am. I think about approaching death, and panic. I think about getting sick and my life being turned upside down within minutes. How will I cope? How will I cope with my hubby if he ages before me? Then I end up thinking about being DEAD forever!
I know that I have to live for today and I try to. However when I get these thoughts I get distraught. Of course, thankfully, the ideas usually don’t last long and I move on.
Tonight we went to a wine tasting party at our local Y. I don’t care for wine at all but hubby and my friends do. It is also something to do for free! I tasted the winning white and red wine. YUK!!!!!
Tomorrow I am meeting with my ex DIL to discuss the senior home. I am really angry with my son who has washed his hands of the whole thing when he is responsible for us investing so much money into the home. Hubby has written the money off and I am stubborn so don’t want to. I don’t know if I can make a difference but I will try.
Anti-semitism is flourishing in our neighborhood. Three synagogues had windows smashed lately.
So that’s about it for now.
*hugs* I wish I could offer more.
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Wow…that’s a lot to deal with. It freaks me out that hate is still so rampant. We are all afraid of death, old age, illness and being alone. There’s nothing we can do but face it when it comes.
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Yeah death thoughts are scarry and 🙁 on the broken windows.
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well, i don’t too often think of my death. i believe in life after death. that is so wrong… the broken windows. take care,
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try to see ageing in a positive rather than a negative way….we know more, we have done more, we hopefully are wiser, we often have accumulted more materially, and we have a lot to be gratefuly for. Death in this life leads to life in another, so its more of a stepping stone. Ill-health and loss of facilties would be the hardest part of ageing but it all depends on our attitude as well as our gratitude. Try not to worry. hugs P
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I used to do what you’re doing too. But I figured out that I was making myself crazy over “what if’s” that had not even happened yet. I figure I have enough to deal with in the here and now. I do what I can to stay healthy, and leave the rest alone. Whatever is supposed to happen, will, with no help from me. Sorry about the windows. That’s just horrid.
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Having lived through a serious illness, I can attest to the fact that it isn’t easy, so your concern is certainly valid. On the other hand, there’s no use borrowing trouble and no one knows when their time will come, so the quicker your thoughts can turn from the negative to the positive, the better. =)
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I wanted to re-visit this entry because I heard a response on a talk show yesterday to Obama’s receivng the Nobel Peace Award. A caller reported it was given to him as a reward for his anti-semetic messages. I’m just appalled at the entire idea that in the United States, we would allow prejudices to flourish. I fear that the more “laws” that are enacted to “protect” the more it is a reflectionof how deeply our government HAS (and does?) support prejudicial conduct! My heart is extremely burdened today over this thought 🙁
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