SO WHAT WILL YOU DO? – ok

 1. You’re at a gas station and you have just finished pumping your gas. Your left wrist is itchy and you don’t know why. This reminds you that you’re hungry and you haven’t eaten since yesterday. You have money in your wallet and there are no other places to get food for kilometers and miles. You go in to pay for your fuel and see sandwiches in the cooler of questionable expiration dates. Your hunger overwhelms you but your heart beats in fear at the thought of salmonella and/or E. coli.

Get in the car and drive on hoping to see a restaurant soon.

2. You meet your significant other’s parents for the first time. Their dog starts humping your leg while you are sitting in their parlour eating petit fours and drinking tea. This makes you giggle. What do you say?

Wiggle around and hope the dog gets the message or just stand up and go to the washroom.

3. You are walking down the street, humming an ABBA tune and minding your own business, when you spot some loose change on the sidewalk, nestled next to some discarded hypodermic needles and also a broken Furbie. What is the minimum value of the coin that is required to make you bend over and pick it up?

Would walk on bye unless there was alot of money and then would kick it away from the junk with my shoes.

4. Write a fourteen word mini-essay on why you love Berry.

Whose Berry?

5. You get busted at the airport for trying to smuggle a modest amount of marijuana out of your country. People with handcuffs take you to jail and put you in a cell with a huge scary man wearing a crimson velvet sarong and a woman who growls at you and calls you “Precious.” They allow you to make one phone call. Who do you call?

My lawyer

6. You wander into a pet store on a whim and are attracted to the fish tanks. You stare at the fishies and suddenly realize that one of the goldfish is giving you the Evil Eye. Then the goldfish opens his little fish mouth and mouths the words, slowly, “I’m… going… to… kill… you… bitch.” What is your reaction?

I would freak out and never eat fish again.

7. You had no reaction to number six, and the goldfish leapt out of the water and landed on your neck and bit you hard and sucked your blood and then you died. Do you go to heaven or hell, or do you just rot because the concept of an afterlife is laughable?

Neither. I don’t believe in heaven or hell 

8. Write a three word essay on why you wished you were Canadian, if you’re not. If you are, write a four word essay on why toques are the best.

They are not hated by the world.( more than three words. shoot me)