OBSESSING-edited

I’ve been obsessing all morning about my life and the future. I just don’t know how I am going to cope with the future. I don’t know how I’ll accept hubby and I getting weaker, frailer and forgetful etc. I know I need to take it one day at a time but my mind wanders into the future. I keep thinking about going to the trailer and how much I don’t want to go. Especially since hubby will be playing golf on Saturday so I won’t be able to go anywhere. However I just realized that I will be able to stay at our new condo. I can walk across the street to the mall which has a McDonalds. I love their breakfast. I will be near a library which is wonderful. Now the only questions is should I just suck it up and go to the trailer?????? Would hubby even care?
I also wonder why I could care less about seeing my grandchildren……….at least taking them for their Bubby Days.
I just wish I could go into a senior home where I would be looked after.
Anyhow have to go to the doctor so will continue later.
So the doctor increased my cholesterol medication. I so wish I could do without it. I have to start exercising again. Maybe tomorrow………….She looked over all my test results from Florida and said one of the tests showed that I had some scar tissue. She doesn’t think it caused my seizure. She thinks it was probably my diabetes. She thinks my sugar just went too low so now I will take a pill before lunch instead of supper. She thought my "hip" pain was the result of my seizure. She said it wasn’t hip pain because hip pain would be in front not the side????? She looked at the lump on my behind and said it was just fat and if I wasn’t interested in surgery I should just forget it so of course I will. We are due for colonoscopy but we will wait awhile – at least till after I finish with the neurologist.
I have been talking more with my hubby and telling him how I feel. I have told him that I don’t care if I owe money. I like to spend and it is one thing that makes me happy. Now that I don’t drive I have cut way down on my shopping. I will pay off some bills I hope. I also told him that I don’t know why I get depressed. There is no rhyme or reason. He suggested I go to a psychologist. Maybe………………
Going to watch DEAL OR NO DEAL with hubby.
Have a good one.

gray tabby

March 25, 2011

wonder what’s driving these feelings of yours? it’s not easy to accept getting older and frailer. it’s hard to believe that we will get like that. stay at the condo and go to mcdonald’s and the library. no sense in going to the trailer if you can’t go anywhere. hope your doctor appointment goes okay. take care,

I’d vote for the condo and the library! 🙂

Happy Trails

You’ll have more fun staying at the condo.

personal rotisserie

it’s interesting that you want to go to a senior home to be looked after, i didn’t think that was a common sentiment among your age group

There are times the idea of going to a senior home seems very enticing to me. To know that my meals will be prepared and my needs will be met (including games and activities and exercise opportunities). Of course that is countered with a lack of privacy and not as much alone time as I like, but there is a comfort in the idea that I like. I’d opt for the condo, library and McDonald’s. 😉

Taya Megala

control. sometimes when our lives have gone so well, we think we must have done something good to deserve it, and so we try to keep being good, and at the same time, we feel we are entitled to things going well, so thinking about when they might not go so well (like old age) we try to get it under control, plan for it, take the unknown elements out of it and make it our decision rather than

something that happens TO us. If you understand what I just typed, you understand me and I guess I understand you!

Gypsy Spirit

your worrying won’t do your health any good..it is seriously time to talk to a professional counsellor about your fears. hugs P