MORE THOUGHTS ON THE SUBJECT
Many people have said to me that it is wonderful that my two friends got together. They asked me why it bothered me because when my very best friend died her hubby took up with his SIL almost immediately. I had no answer! It just didn’t.
Anyhow I’ve given it a lot of thought and this afternoon I called my friend to apologize for my reaction. After I spoke to her I had some thoughts.
I still think it was too fast.
I still think they should have been more discreet about their relationship.
She needs my approval?????? Is she feeling guilty?
I think that I am still mourning. Maybe she is too but she isn’t acting like it. Her daughters know and they are ok with it. His children don’t know yet.
I am still quite upset over their deaths and I guess I can’t get past it for now.
So I did say I’m sorry. I did give my blessing but in my heart I am sad and disappointed and crying. What can I do??? This is my reaction and I am entitled to it. I don’t begrudge them their relationship. I wouldn’t want to be alone. I am just looking at it from my perspective. They are entitled to theirs. I hope his children don’t give him any flack but I will understand if they do.
In this instance you feelings are right on I think. That does seem a bit rushed. Love,
Warning Comment
I don’t think we have a right to mourn more for a person than the person’s spouse has. In other words….think and feel the way you do, but don’t lay a guilt trip on her spouse, because HE is the one who was married to her, and if he is ready to have a new relationship, it is truly not your business. Besides, you really only know the “inside” of the friendship you and her had. You don’t know everything about the marriage she and him had, as you were not in it. hugs, Nicky
Warning Comment
the yardstick different people use to measure what is ‘too soon’ can vary alot. Its up to the ones involved really. hugs p
Warning Comment
ryn: I do have a sling I put her in which helps A LOT.. she usually snoozes when she’s in it, but that also means I can’t hold Evie or do some of the things I need to do around the house. Its definitely great for outings and such and during certain homeschool activities!
Warning Comment
I’m simply perplexed. I don’t know how to feel about all this. I would probably be bothered by it too. Quick isn’t always a good thing. I guess I’m just skeptical of the quick when it comes to relationships.
Warning Comment
My sister in law moved on almost this quickly. But she just went “hunting” for a man. Hasn’t found one yet. Her boys did a tailspin at her quickness to want to get back into t he dating world. But as Woodsprite says, we don’t know what it was like to live with their spouse.
Warning Comment
‘too soon’ is subjective. it’s different for everyone. i’ve been alone now for nearly 4 years and have no desire for another man in my life. but, i know some people are ready almost immediately. maybe the relationships weren’t all that good at the end. maybe they were already seeing each other before the deaths? you really never know what’s going on in someone’s private lives and hearts. take care,
Warning Comment
I have heard people say that someone who wants to re-marry is keen to re-establish what was a good thing in their life. I don’t know.
Warning Comment