ME
I don’t even know what to call this entry. It is about me. I have changed somewhat over the years in some respects but not enough. I feel that I am more confident and definitely wiser! So what am I referring to? I have always been judgemental and critical. Most of the time I have been able to keep my opinions to myself but not lately. I seem to be turning into a crotchety old lady!!!!!!!!!!! That is why the last few weeks I have been hanging out more or less alone.
If you’ve been reading me for awhile then you know that I lost two close friends this winter. Well the two spouses are getting together and for whatever reason it is making me crazy. I don’t know why as I "called it" as soon as I knew they were driving down here together. She is acting like a teenager. Am I jealous? Maybe………but I am also upset that they are turning to each other so quickly!!!! I have to just accept it as they both went through hell and now have a chance again for love and companionship. I wish I could get over it but for whatever reason I can’t. It’s in my face! She’s lucky as he is a wonderful man. Tomorrow they will be here for a good part of the day and evening. I just hope I can relax!!!!!!!!!!!
Tomorrow is our art show. I am excited to see everyone’s work and hear the reaction to my stained glass. I promise to take pictures and post them here soon. Be prepared!!!!! You might be disappointed.
Today I had a great day. Hubby went golfing. I went swimming and then to the bead store for a course in weaving. It wasn’t easy and I kept making mistakes. I finally gave up and brought it home to finish. Hopefully I’ll finish it in the next few days.
Sunday I am going back to the bead store to learn how to make glass beads. I’m excited about it. Hubby is again going to play golf.
Last night I went to see WOMEN ON THE SIXTH FLOOR. Everyone said it was wonderful and it was pretty good. It is a French movie with English subtitles.
I have been in a fairly "good" mood since I have been in Florida. However I see myself going downhill. Not sure why. Maybe the prospect of going home…………………maybe because I am just an impatient bitch.
I will be happy when tomorrow is over so I don’t have to see my friends together.
Anyhow we are going to a friend’s for supper so I must go. Maybe I’ll be back later.
Being in the sunshine has been proven to lift moods. People who live in the northern hemispere during wintertime tend to suffer from SAD Seasonal Affect Disorder = depression. You got away from it and it suits you obviously.
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Sunshine always helps me feel upper. I stay away too when I feel just blah and not right. Woohoo on learning how to make glass beads.
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permit me to be so bold – I think why you feel as you do towards your two friends getting together is a myriad of confusing emotions, two of which possibly are: 1.you will fade into the background of these two people and will be less important to them (I think you are a carer and giver and will be denied a high level of this in this instance). 2.You want the memories of your departed friends to be grieved over for a bit longer, perhaps you are afraid they will be forgotten and you are not yet ready to let go. As I say, I have been bold and you can always delete my note. I say what I say to give you another perspective on a difficult situation. I am looking forward to hearing all about the art show and your stained glass piece. Hope it all goes well for you. French movies, I think are great. They are gently emotional with the subtlety of hinted trauma. My fav French movie is Jean de Florette. Best wishes, A
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everyone grieves differently. i lost my husband over 3.5 years ago and i’m in no way ready for another man in my life. some people can’t bear to be alone with themselves. so, maybe that’s why they got together so soon afterwards. i hope that one day you will be able to be happy for them. take care,
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My x sister in law was saying she wanted a man within 2 months of her husband’s death. It upset me because I did not feel she had even started the grieving process. And I was afraid she’d just settle for the first man that came along. My feelings would be like you in the quickness of this relationship. And I’m getting crankier and crankier as I get older and less and less tolerant of some of the behavior going on in our world. I hope today goes well.
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