LONG TIME MARRIAGES-read
I know many couples who have been married a long time. Many of these couples no longer love each other. They stay together because of convenience, laziness, they don’t want to get divorced for whatever reason etc. I will not judge any couple who stay together for whatever reason.
What I want to know is IF you have decided to live together why don’t you make the best of things. From what I see and know it is usually up to the woman even if it shouldn’t be.
So I wonder why the couples don’t make it their business to get along. For example why not eat meals together, plan activities etc. I mean once you are going to live together I would think that couples would make up their mind to get along – actually to do better than that. It must be so sad to live with a spouse who you don’t love and are just putting up with. What a sad way to end your days.
I’m not sure if I explained this good enough. Living in the same house and each going their own way may be a way of coping but I wonder.
So why not take a look at your relationship. If you decide to stay with your spouse how about making it a GOOD life?
Comments would be appreciated.
I stayed with my spouse 25 years before I left. We never “grew together” as a couple. It was sad, but we really did go our own ways most of the time while together. It was like being stuck in a marriage but not having a spouse. Didn’t seem to bother him, but I was very depressed. Finally got my nerve up to leave. My new spouse and I strive to make our marriage good.
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My thought is if it is left just up to the woman to do this, it doesn’t work. It has to be both of them who want it and both who work at it.
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We got married because I got pregnant. For three years I have tried constantly to make our marriage happy. I have been pushed away over and over and over. You can only take so much rejection. He has decided he doesn’t want any love in our marriage. I give up. He has broken my spirit in the process.
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My hubby and I have been married for 11 years. We have been together for 13. I think that you fall into the security of being with one person that accepts your faults and will not leave you. There is also the security and the fear of moving forward on your own. I love my hubby, but we have had our moments when I felt that it was over.We stop, take a breath, and work it out. the mad cow
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My husband and I have been married for almost 33 years and I feel so blessed that we are as happy together now as we were at the beginning.
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It was sad to watch my Grandparents together. My Grandmother we stuck in a love-less – almost to the point of being abuses – marriage. My grandfather was an alchoholic. Don’t get me wrong, he was always good to me, and I loved him dearly, but it was hard not to see the toll it took on the family. I don’t to this day know why she stuck with him, but she did right up until he passed away last may.
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About 7 years ago, he blew up. Really blew up. He had quite the temper, at times. Anyway, we ended up leaving him in the middle of the city without a car to get back with. After that – and a while to sit on it – things got better, and he stopped blowing up. They were married for 30 years, I think. And only 7 of them were somewhat calm.
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As for what you’ve written, they did try to make it a good life, and it was at times. They tried to keep things from falling apart. I think my Nana was the one to thank for that, though. She worked with what she had.
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I’ve been married just short of 2 years. My wife and I love each other unconditionally, and I know there’s no way we would have survived even THIS long if our love for each other wasn’t full and genuine. Young ladies — DON’T RUSH INTO MARRIAGE JUST BECAUSE IT’S SOMETHING YOU WANT!! If the guy you want to rope in doesn’t love you as much as you think he should, he’s not going to change much….
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….once the vows have been spoken. You will not change a man by marrying him. My wife knows this better than anyone. I’m not saying I didn’t need to change — I did. But I had to change myself. She couldn’t do it for me. And likewise, she had to make some changes in her life. Marriage is about 100% love and committment coming from both husband and wife. +:-)>
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my husband and i have been married for almost 7 years now, and i never expected him to change(he’s a drinker). but what happened was i changed! after we had our two boys, i realized that these children actually NEED me to do things for them, and then i look at my selfish husband who actually gets angry when his lunch isn’t made for him!! hey loser get a life, you are a grown man!! -divorcing
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I think if people fall out of love, they were never truly in love to begin with. My parents stayed married 31 years until my father passed away and they loved each other even more than they did when they were first married. Many people just don’t know how to love anymore and thats sad! Monica
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Mrs. Boxer and I still love one another after 31 years. It is more the kind of caring like one cares for a nice filling meal than the way one cares for a fancy chocolate desert. We never were red-hot lovers. I would like more, but we give each other all we can. She is just very low maintainance in all her social interactions. I am more socialble, but one can’t force such.
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Relationships are about personal growth. During the course of my seven-year marriage, I grew tremendously. My ex-husband really didn’t. He was a very confused individual right up until the day he killed himself last fall.
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