DEPRESSED AND SCARED
OY!!!!!! I AM JUST NOT GOOD WITH PEOPLE. I JUST HAVE NO PATIENCE. I HAVE NO TOLERANCE. I MADE PLANS THIS MORNING WITH MY COUSIN AND A FRIEND TO GO FOR LUNCH TOMORROW. WHILE I WAS TRYING TO NAP THIS AFTERNOON MY COUSIN CALLED TO TELL ME THEY WANTED TO GO SOMEWHERE ELSE. I TOLD THEM I WOULD GO ANYWHERE. IT WAS OK WITH ME. I WAS GOING TO TAKE MY SICK FRIEND OUT. I DIDN’T CARE WHAT I WAS GOING TO EAT. ANYHOW MY COUSIN TOLD ME THEY SPENT THE WHOLE DAY CALLING DIFFERENT RESTAURANTS. AGAIN I TOLD HER I WOULD GO ANYWHERE. SO SHE DIDN’T KNOIW WHERE ONE WAS. AGAIN I SAID LET’S JUST GO FOR CHINESE AS WE PLANNED. IT’S NOT MY FAVOURITE FOOD BUT I DON’T CARE. OY!!!!!!!!!!!!
ANYHOW TONIGHT I FOUND OUT A FRIEND IS IN THE HOSPITAL. ANOTHER FRIEND’S HUSBAND IS DYING. I AM NOT SURE IF I SHOULD GO SEE HER OR NOT. I AM NOT CLOSE TO HER.
I REALIZE JUST HOW LUCKY I AM TO BE ALIVE AND FAIRLY WELL. HOWEVER THE NEWS IS SO DEPRESSING.
ALSO WHEN MY HUBBY CAME HOME AND I TOLD HIM ABOUT MY PHONE CALL WITH MY FRIEND HE JUST MADE UP EXCUSES FOR HER. HE NEVER DOES STICK UP FOR ME. I MIGHT NOT CALL HER BUT OF COURSE I WILL BE FRIENDLY. I HAVE MADE OVERTURES. I DID APOLOGIZE ABOUT TELLING HER THAT SHE WAS GOING WITH MY OTHER FRIEND TOO SOON. I CALLED A FEW TIMES SINCE WE’RE HOME. SHE DOESN’T CALL ME!!!!!!!! OH WELL!
ANYHOW I THINK I BETTER CLOSE AND GO TO BED. OBLIVION LOOKS SO GOOD RIGHT NOW.
🙁 Sounds like you had a rough day. Sorry hun, hopefully things will look better in the morning.
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Try this. Paint a face on an egg and all her Eggy. Sit her across from you on the table at her own place in a pretty egg cup. Pretend everything you have just said here is what Eggy is saying to you. Now give her your love and counsel and help Eggy see what she should do. Now you know what you should do. Now have Eggy with a bagel while thanking her. She won’t ever betray you.
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Ugh, I hate it when things like the lunch plans happen.
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I think that the woman you know whose husband is dying would appreciate a call or a visit from you. The very fact that you aren’t ‘close’ will make your gesture of comfort that much more meaningful for her. Or at least, that’s the way I always feel when someone I haven’t seen or spoken to in years calls up to ask about my daughter once they learn about her health. You know what…even if there are ‘valid explanations’ for why your friend isn’t calling you when she’s in your area doesn’t mean your feelings haven’t been hurt. I’m so sorry. You’ve agonized about this in past entrie. I know how much the things you feel have been bothering you. I hope that given a bit of time, the two of you will be able to re-establish your close connection.
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sounds like a rough day. take care,
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I basically make no plans with anyone anymore because they are too annoying, if anyone wants to do anything with me, thay can call ME from now on. So what happens is no one calls and that is fine by me. Less stress.
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hope you have a happier day tomorrow. Best wishes, A
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Keep trying to reach the friend whose husband is in the hospital. I know a lot of times we have to go the extra mile with some people. Life is not always fair or equal. I do understand your frustration though. Love,
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Your honesty is more important. Don’t worry, your friends accept you as you are.
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Hope your days are getting better.
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Hey, are you okay? You sounded so hurt and down in this entry, and you have not posted for a few days. I know from reading your diary that you sort of regroup when you are feeling that way and start counting your blessings. Hope to see you back soon!
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