ANGRY, FRUSTRATED, MAD, CONFUSED
I come here once again because I don’t know anyone I can or want to talk to about what I’m going through. To make a long story short, I went out for supper alone! Now maybe just maybe this is all of my own doing because every situation takes two so I won’t blame my husband 100%……………80%.
We are at the trailer. Every Saturday afternoon my hubby’s friends come over for a drink and snack. So by six o’clock when they leave he is NOT hungry. OK! So sometimes I have some cereal etc. Tonight I was really upset. He walked over to a friend about seven and decided to go for ice cream with his friends. Not once did he say anything to me about what I would DO for supper. Maybe it’s my fault because I didn’t say anything. I never do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tonight for whatever reason I was and still am very upset. He is not home. I’m waiting to see if he will say anything when he returns. I don’t know where he is and right now I could care less.
I guess I am partly or wholly to blame for his attitude. I have always been very independent. I am not going to do everything he wants to. It would be nice though if once just once he would say I’ll wait for you!!!!!!!!
He is planning to go to Florida at the end of October. Does he consider that I will not come until the middle of November? Should I even go at all?
Did he consider me when he went to Toronto when he knew I would go a few days later or even the next week?
Is he just plain SELFISH or does he NOT think of me at all.
He bought my daughter a TV for 300. WHY???????? He cries that we have no money – ALL THE TIME. Why couldn’t he get her a TV for 100-200????????
I am so fed up once again. I am so tempted to just leave him.
Would I be happy alone? I think so but who knows.
I am sure no one would be surprised.
I want to say something when he comes home but I don’t know if I want to open a can of worms. Right now I am thinking about not coming here at all next weekend. Will that make matters worse?? I wish I knew what to do.
Is he just selfish or stupid or unthinking or not caring?
Maybe he would like me to leave………………..
Maybe we would both be better off apart??????
I am not happy with him. We have nothing in common except the kids. Even that is different. When I take my grandchildren he never comes with. He never meets me at my son’s house to see the grandchildren or have supper. He leaves for the trailer on Thursday. He knows I take our grandson Thursday afternoon. Why doesn’t he wait for me until Friday? What is the big rush to come here? I know he enjoys being here but I don’t so next weekend I think I will just stay home. Will that make our relationship worse? Will he care? I doubt it. I have given him too much rope and I think he is gong to hang himself.
So much to think about but the truth is I’m afraid to go for divorce. I’m not sure why. What people will think? Will I be happier alone? Will I have enough money?
So many questions! So few answers.
i dont understand your situation at all, but im am going to go ahead and say that divorce sounds good to everyone. if you are serious about it, talk about it with him. really. just flat out say the obvious, because sometimes, many times, men cant see it. the obvious. so, talk first, action later. at least, that is what my wife and i do. and we are merely 27! answers are there. you can find them.
Warning Comment
It is good you are so independent.. divorce cant give you much more of that .. but it can certainly give you a lot less money and companionship. I think you should start with talking to hubby, in a non-confrontational way, about how you are feeling. I am not sure going it alone is the answer.. Good luck…
Warning Comment
The bottom line is men are selfish, all they care about is themselves so either get used to it or leave him, that’s your choice. I chose to leave my husband because he wanted to have his cake and eat it to and I said NO WAY!! You don’t really have to divorce at this point, all it will do is cost a lot of money. Just live separate lives as you seem to do now. Don’t do anything you don’t want to do, if you don’t want to go to the trailer then stay home. He seems to enjoy his life there without you anyway. You know when the men finally want you? It is when they are old and sick and need someone to take care of them. Who needs it I say?
Warning Comment
I have been reading you for YEARS and I honestly can not remember even one time where you mentioned that your dh was nice, caring, supportive, etc of you. Not once. It seems like you are beyond unhappy being married to him… And you do seem to go your separate ways all the time. ALL the time. I can not think of any couple that I knew in any of the RV parks that had snowbirds where they droveseparately. I also think that it is selfish of him to be running off and not waiting for you. You are his wife, he should WANT to be with YOU.
Warning Comment
If you are really 68 years old, it seems a long time to figure this all out. LOL! I would talk with him about when he leaves and when he comes. Again, if it doesn’t bother you or him for you to stay behind…stay behind. I got divorced because my ex was selfish to the point of harming the children and me. Art is way, way different. Love him!
Warning Comment
I have a marriage, somewhat like you are describing. To be honest, I am just in it right now for the pay check..as little as that is. I have faith and know, when God wants me to go and, if it is alone, I will go–again. I don’t think anyone can tell you what to do as, you have to know yourself on what is right for you and you alone. I just will send you hugs as, I am sitting here myself, hurt andangry with my own husband and, I am wondering a lot myself. ((hugs))
Warning Comment
You would probably have more money if you divorced if you get community propery. You would get half of everything plus alimony and social security in the U.S. I don’t know about Canada. Anyway, it seems he keeps all the money for himself, so you would get your share that way. A long, honest talk or two would help. Also a marriage counselor could help. Try to work it out to get what you want!
Warning Comment
It is difficult to walk in your shoes and make the decision for you, but go with your instincts and stop spoiling him! If you are just a glorified maid who cooks and cleans for him, send him the bill via divorce papers! Otherwise, rethink what YOU want out of life and go for it. Life gets shorter and shorter the older you get. Don’t be mean to yourself.
Warning Comment
I am sorry you got such a raw deal with your hubs, but you must have some good memories too. I’m glad you took yourself out for something to eat though…..its better than sitting at home smarting and hungry…..and shows you are an independent woman after all. hugs P
Warning Comment
I hate to say this, but you have never learned how to be happy or content. You have a good, full life, and oftentimes you do feel very thankful for things, but you are also a fretter and stewer, and often do not seem to know what it is that you want in life. And being divorced is not going to help that. You deserve to be happy, but happiness really DOES come from within. You need something in yourlife that will help you learn how to find it. I only say this because I have been reading you for years, and I care. hugs, Nicky
Warning Comment
Wow, I really disagree with most of the notes here. I don’t think divorce is the answer at all. You’ve often mentioned how much you appreciate him (in your ‘thankful’ entries). He gives you so much independence and freedom and you like this! I also disagree with the noter who said that all men are selfish. Seriously? I think men just think way differently than women.
Warning Comment
As you know, I struggle with Mehmet’s attitude sometimes, but I keep hearing that most husbands are like that… they can’t focus on so many things like women, and are not as thoughtful in that way. But that doesn’t make them selfish, it just makes them men. I think your husband must be a reasonable man… if I were you I’d have a good long talk with him.
Warning Comment
It seems to me that often you don’t know what you want from your life – which is fine – but I’ll bet your husband doesn’t know what you want either, as a result. I’m quite sure that if you left him, you’d both be miserable. Please dont’ think about divorce! xo
Warning Comment
there’s a song from the sixties Make your own kind of music your entry, (having no clue why) just reminded me of that song
Warning Comment