10/21/04

>really  cute…
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Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

 

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align=center>Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you’re in bed with a relative.

align=center>I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it.
So I said “Implants?” She hit me.

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align=center>How come we choose from just two people to run for
president and 50 for Miss America?

align=center>A good friend will come and bail you out of jail…but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, “Darn…that was fun!”

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align=center>I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn’t have signed up in the first place!

align=center>When I was young we used to go “skinny dipping,” now I just “chunky dunk.”

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align=center>Don’t argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able
to tell the difference.

align=center>Wouldn’t it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press ‘Ctrl Alt Delete’ and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!

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align=center>Why is it that our children can’t read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

align=center>Wouldn’t you know it…
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FATcells live forever.

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align=center>Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed in a federal building?

align=center>Bumper sticker of the year:
“If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it’s in English, thank a soldier !!”<