Low

Stevie Wolf

5:17 pm

I didn’t write yesterday because I was exhausted from the time I got up, till I went to bed. What time did I go to bed? Around 6 pm. I woke up once around 10, got a snack, fell right back to sleep and didn’t wake up until Pam called for the dogs (my damn alarm didn’t go off, so now I have two set).

This morning, I woke up and felt fine for an hour, then the absolute exhaustion hit me again. I could have gone back to bed and went right back to sleep, no problem. I probably would have if I didn’t have to work.

But I was fine at work. Tired, but didn’t feel like I was going to fall flat on my face. I felt okay until just a little while ago. I can feel it creeping into me. My arms are heavy, my shoulder blade is starting to hurt (don’t know why it goes hand in hand), and my head just wants to flop back into the chair for support. I feel weak, but not really? Does that make sense? It’s just… It’s hard to explain. ::sigh::

I had labs drawn yesterday because this issue has progressively gotten worse. I know one of the problems is my diet. It sucks. I don’t eat. I just don’t. I can’t be bothered to cook anything for myself. I snack on crap food or just have protein bars or drinks. I don’t get it because I love to cook. I just don’t love to cook for just myself, I guess.

And I can’t afford to just buy a bunch of “healthy” nuke n’ pukes. I can’t afford any food this week at all. There’s plenty of food in the freezer, but lol the whole cooking thing. Yeah.

So tomorrow I guess I’ll pull out some chicken breasts and cook them up. I can put it in my salads, or make a sandwich or whatever.

See that just doesn’t sound good to me. Nothing sounds good to me. Pizza maybe. But other food? nope. Not interested.

I’m slightly worried about this. I’ve lost way too much weight…. but I’m too lazy to do anything about it, or something.

I’m not sure what to do about it, really. Making myself do it doesn’t work, because I can’t make myself do anything. If I don’t want to do it, I’m not going to do it. Simple as that.

Feh. this really does suck. Depressing as fuck to be so damn tired. I’m not going to go to bed until a normal time tonight. I don’t care how much it kills me.

But it would be sooo easy just to get changed and crawl under the covers.

::sigh::

See ya.