[ Nothing ever seems to change ]

I lay in bed at night
and just cry.
It may not be over anything
but I just cry.
My eyes swell up with tears,
I bury my head deep into my pillow
and cry.
They slip out and fall so gracefully,
as if they have a plan;
a distinct route of travel,
they know where and how and when to fall,
and how to land so softly on my collar bone.
Streaming back behind my ear lobes,
I feel them collecting on my bed,
I feel them streaking and staining my cheeks,
letting my night creams go to waste
as I rub my eyes dry.
Roll over, squeeze my eyes tightly,
shut out all the horrible thoughts,
the miserable concepts,
the half thought through ideas…
how nothing makes sense.
This doesn’t even make sense.
Where am I going with this?
I don’t even know anymore.
I don’t know what I am doing.
I live each day so mechanically…so to speak…
or so it seems.
Nothing ever seems to change.

[ this isn’t really a poem, but something that I like a lot, and I thought should be in here. ]

[ 11.04 PM ]