Maintenance

The first note I found on my very first Open Diary entry so shocked me that I deleted it without rereading it. Ill tell you. I shouldnt have done that. I should have left all that negative garbage out there hanging in the wind to embarrass the writer or make that writer proud of their opinion.

I just found another note that shocked me. On the letter I wrote to my daughter, I found these words:

This is so sad. I have rarely heard such self-ingratiating nonsense in my life. Every sentence is elf-serving and overblown. This is no diary. This is a hateful, spiteful message to a daughter who has had no recourse than to separate herself from an abuser. What you need, Georgette, is some counseling and a reality check. Perhaps you should head down to the beach and walk out into the tide of life

Unsigned.

Im grateful that one daughter wrote to tell me she loved me on this entry. I dont know which daughter wrote, but I am grateful. And yes, that letter was about self, for if you write about the other person, you are just taking the other persons inventory not yours. Yes, too, I have done counseling and do reality checks every day. One thing I am not is perfect. Yup, I cant disagree; I sure did abuse her. I also spoiled her rotten later which wasnt good either.

I learn the hard way, obviously.

Other notes..Belle wrote: Have some chocolate and feel better and remember we all drop stuff, meds or no. It makes for interesting patterns of the kitchen floor. Belle. I dont know who you are, Belle, but thank you for your notes. I like having interesting patterns on my kitchen floor. When I remember to look down over my bi-focals, those patterns let my sense of humor loose after I recover from the shock of the filthy floor.

Thank you all too, for the many congratulations on our anniversary and the many kind words helping me get better from what ever that was plus the pill. Gee, golly, gosh, that was an experience. Hopefully I stay well.

And thank you too Gemma. I think I will rename my journal Maintenance while trying to keep the worst of the wear and tear from the open pages. Yes too, I think there are several maintenance manuals for ageing, but I also think they forget those little, nagging details. For instance, no one ever told me I would lose my eyebrows before I was sixty. Gosh.

What did they not tell you? Id love to know.

Me Explorer

February 25, 2004

I think you’re magnificent; and I think you live life in an inspired and inspiring way. We have all made mistakes in our journey, and done the best we could to make amends. Sometimes even in that we err. However, you should never be subjected to that sort of negativity. I like Belle’s note a lot; and the patterns can be glorious, can’t they? And Gemma is a gem. So are you. Huge hugs.

gel

I think you should report that note to the DM-there’s no reason for anyone to leave a mean, hurtful note like that. I have a feeling he may be able to trace it down. Don’t let the idiots stop you from writing what you need to here. Your honesty is so refreshing and inspiring to me. Much love,

Elle: 2

G, I am so sorry to hear this…do not EVER doubt yourself or what you are about. You definitely are inspiring and a “REAL” human being…one that loves, hurts, laughs, crys, makes mistakes, and is constantly learning about herself and her life. %$#& that noter…a loser & coward ! Warm smiles & hugs to you………

Redcat

i think the note left by unsigned was spiteful, and hateful. someone who has some very unresolved issues, desperately in need of counseling themselves. gee whiz!! that note just doesn’t apply to you. you have been open and honest, and that does make you vulnerable, but that note was a cheap shot. if i were you, i’d disregard it.

Sorry that you have those unpleasant things to deal with. Don’t let them get to ya, k. We all know what a grand gal you are. Interesting and scary to think about changes! LOL So maybe I’ll put it off for awhile .. ; ) You wear the years well, Georgettes. Life is a micro and macro adventure. Hugs & Smiles

Ryn: Yes, that sort of note is too much. I’m glad you are taking care of you and I’m grinning about the monthly maintenance entry and your “waving my newly shorn head like a flag and enjoying life.” You go, gal : ) I admire you, as always. Enjoy!

I don’t even leave any doors open here anymore. That makes me jaded and cynical (just like in real life!) I’m sorry that happened to you, but maybe you should at least go to signed notes. That’s such a hurtful thing to have happen to you.

RNBiker

Georgette, one thing you will very occasionally find in here is that some real brave noters tend to leave notes like you describe, and then valiantly “forget” to sign their name. Doesn’t that fact alone tell you what these people are like? Ignore them, hon! Hugz

WantingMore

humanity is about statistics, get a large enough crowd together and you will start getting people who disappoint you, or worse. ignore them. {{hugs}}

noko

I do kind of wish someone had clued me in a bit earlier to the “maintenance factor” but the rub is I probably wouldn’t have listened! Unkind note for sure! ryn: Thanks for your suggestion on the poem, it was a good one. I made the change. 🙂

Chalandra

Hey! I’ve been wondering where my eyebrows went! You mean it happens to everybody?

seedys

Nasty note indeed! Don’t let one small, unhappy person influence the honesty you share with us here. It’s like a small pimple–suddenly we see only that in our mirror and miss the beauty that others see in us. Perhaps writing this nastiness allowed this anon person some healing. Hard on you, but perhaps some good came of it of which you are not aware.

Someone just said the same thing to me today (about self serving). I feel very down 🙁 Although I know its considered whining, but its sad

SoCal Frank

February 26, 2004

RYN: The Diocese of Orange has less of the self aggrandizement that the Diocese just to our north does, or should I call it a ediface complex? We are the only Franciscan parish among all the other diocesean parishes. The Franciscan take on things leads to such activities as dancing in some of our liturgy. This bemuses our tolerant bishop. Ciao,

AND THEN THERE IS REALITY. Not always what we want to hear or live with. Of course, Hearing words from a person who has been in (and out) your life from day one, then all of a sudden falls off the face of the world, is a reality which no one should live thru. I know. reality at times, sucks! big ones.lenora