Baggage

Ive managed to lose ten pounds, and my daughter is reduced to tears and hangs up the phone when she hears my voice. I really dont know if one balances out the other in the way of loss or not.

Ive pulled in most of my support network, and Ive automatically putting into practice all that I have been taught. Amazing process, the result of consciously relearning how to live.

First thing in the morning phone calls, and I just cant talk about this, mother, (thunk), no longer reduce me to tears just to the knowledge that I cannot work for her any longer. Then again, the yang is that she will not have to put up with me, either. I called the big boss and told him the mother daughter dynamic wasn’t working.

Oh, I didnt quit the company. I didnt eat over it either. They may lay me off as there is not position for me, and I am prepared to go out and look for a part time something. I’m not angry…just sad. Love is all. Grief and misery wander through my head in waves, but I’m able to let them go most of the time. Progress on all fronts. Even when we brought home an acutely embarrassing movie, The Diary of Bridgette Jones, I was able to step out of my problems long enough to be able to hide my head over Bridgettes situations. I put my foot in my mouth just that very way. Often. Yes, I understood.

I did talk it over with G who advised not rushing where fools fear to tread or overreacting in a typical manner. Ditto Ba. So I followed all suggestions and now am only deeply saddened. Boy, I would have gotten drunk over something like this in the past.

What happened was my past remains to haunt me. Living as an example of sobriety and recovery when your family doesnt really hear what you say wont work if there isnt action on both sides. Lenora pats me on the head and goes her merry way with her mom as an undealt with factor in her life.

She treats me differently than she treats all the other employees. I have seen her in action, and she is good at her job, but I deserve to be treated as she treats the other managers. She can’t do that.

She is also a codependent who feels she does not need treatment. She has a recovering addict/alcoholic mother, an untreated addict/alcoholic sister, and a practicing alcoholic husband. She has a brilliant daughter who is angry and uncontrollable, and she herself is a diabetic who drinks beer and says this is ok.

She has a lifetime of undealt with baggage hanging over her head.

I do not have to be responsible for my daughter. I am responsible for my own baggage today. Sometimes it is heavy.

Butterfly

January 18, 2004

You are doing all you can and doing it well. I’ll polish up your wheelbarrow anytime (((((((Georgette))))))) Love

Don’t fret, pet. The mother/daughter dynamic often doesn’t work – even without baggage.

Chalandra

redmoonrising

hugs to u. life is such a roller coaster…hold on

gel

Oh, sweetie-sorry it didn’t work out. But I’m so proud of you for not eating and for realizing that it’s her problem, not yours. Sending lots of warm thoughts your way tonight. xoxo

MySweetPea1954

I am going through something like what your going through with my daughter. She hasn’t talked to me since a week ago Friday. Just because I’m trying to get her to grow up. I know it hurts, because it hurts me, she’s mad at me, for something she did, not me. Hugs!!

BonnieRose

My own mother is undealt with in my life. It’s a tough situation all around. You have many insights which she does not. And you have done the correct thing with them. I am praying for your heart to lighten and her head to clear.

Not only are you not obliged to be responsible for her, you can’t be. That’s a definite lose-lose proposition. You can only control how you respond/react to her, and what you’ve described here seems very loving and logical and right to me. Of course, that doesn’t always make it easy. Stay strong.

Mns

yes, somtimes our own baggage can be a heavy enough burden to bear… and other times i find it difficult to not feel the need to help carry the load of another. sounds like you’re hanging in there, doing the best you can under the circumstances~

IMHO, under the best of circumstances working with/for my daughter would be difficult. One of the great things about being a recovering/recovered alcoholic is that even when things are tough, we can always come away grateful when we realize we didn’t have to drink over the situation.

Wow… my first thought is at least now you seem to be confronting things instead of looking for a crutch (alcohol) on which to lean. You’re a very strong person and I know this will eventually work itself out. My older sister is still not truly speaking to me; something I can accept without crying. Amazing for me–We must do what we must do. Out of room… Tehachap

Redcat

January 19, 2004

whew! i don’t think if i had to work with my daughter it would be any better. i’m sorry georgette, believe me when i say i really understand. good for you for not dulling the pain, as you will get thru it…one day at a time. in the mean time, a job with non-family members could be very rewarding. they appreciate you more. hang in there..

Well that’s why the Serenity Prayer was written!! You are learning and doing well at your job now hold on. G managed to weather the boss storm and you can too. Time to find a name other than “mother” at work and that may help distance the hurts and anger for both. ((Carrie))

Willy & Wilma

Keep the communications going no matter what. Time is a great healer