So you want my job huh???

Wow, how many times in the past 2 months have I heard…"Dude!  You have the best job in the whole world.  I want your job man.  How do you do it…work around all these hot chicks.  I bet you fuck em all day and night(chuckle)  I wish I had a job like yours."

Let me explain something to you guys about this "job", 
1.  You Do Not Want It!!!!!
2.  You Do Not Want It!!!!!
3.  You Do Not Want It!!!!!
 

Now don’t get me wrong.  I dig my job, the entertainers are very courageous and inspiring sometimes.  It’s provided me a way to keep all the bills paid and food on the kids’ plate and new school clothes for them and a roof over everyone’s heads.

Ok with that said…have you ever been in a room with about 15-20 grown women, most nude or bearly clothed.  All looking to you to fix a "problem" with this one entertainer who is being a "dirty whore" and all are going to leave if you dont fix it immediately.  Ha… I love that one.  Or how about dealing with 12 ladies on their monthly visitor at once.  Or my favorite,  "The Fucking DJ is ruining my money because he didnt play my 2 Live Crew song for me while I was dancing for the 50 year old men at the rack"    That is just  the tip of the ice berg.

It does keep you on your toes.  Nothing like having to throw out a customer who is trying to knock out the door hostess while your in your all white ice cream suit.  Or kicking out the guy who decided to stick his finger in an entertainer and your trying not to open the door with his head.
Let me  tell you how stressful this job is.  I have to keep up the cheery everything is ok outlook 24/7.  Nothing is ever wrong, and I always have an answer to fix things.  That is very difficult to accomplish at times.  I have to make everybody happy but be just at the same time. 

Have you ever told a girl who wants to get naked in front of a bunch of guys that she cant work at your club unless she loses 15-20 pounds.  Makes you feel real good.  Kinda like getting kicked in the nuts.  Especially after you made her cry because nobody has ever told her that before.  That should be a goddamn hallmark card.

You wouldn’t think that working in a strip club would tug on a person’s heart strings, but it can.  Seeing some girls, who I believe are decent people, do drugs and get drunk daily sucks.  Telling a girl that it LOOKS like track marks and she LOOKED strung out when she came to work but not accusing her of anything kinda made me feel sad.  Especially when she seems like such a nice girl and that inside there is a little girl with big fucking problems.  Seeing one of the cutest, nicest girls in the club go through a bad spot with her asshole boyfriend just after finding out she was pregnant brought tears to my eyes.

No, my friends, you do not want my fucking job