Goodbye Mom

How life changes in 10 weeks… 10 weeks ago today my mom died…  The day after she died I took up a second job as a strip club bouncer to help pay the rent since my dad told me that my mom didn’t have life insurance and we needed about 2000 a month to keep everything afloat… 4 weeks ago my dad got t-boned in an accident that was probably his fault (the officers didn’t put anyone at fault) so I had to put together a couple of grand to get him a car…

What fucking hell this life has turned into…

I don’t have the time or energy to train anymore, I’ve put on 15 pounds, I have come to loathe all the narcississtic women in this world because I lost the least narcssisstic woman and now I deal with 15-20 every night…

I wish I cried about mom, but I haven’t for some reason the tears aren’t there…  I’m either just too logical or I’m too exhausted to really cry or be sad… I guess I’m more numb than anything

I’m tired and I’m bitter and I haven’t slept in too long..