Feeling your feelz

It’s funny how much parenting books and managing anxiety books have in common. I suppose it makes sense, since with little’s you’re teaching them how to manage their feelings and as an adult you’re trying to reteach yourself?

I was listening to MFM (my favorite murder podcast) and Karen was talking about how she’s developing a new habit of just feeling her emotions without judging them. It’s so powerful, so I want to write it down here:

“ the second a feeling struck me, I feel it, believe it, and go with it.. and basically my mouth would go, connected to it…”

”having a moment where a feeling struck me that was big and sad and instead of the reaction, going straight to the reaction, just going ‘oh! What’s happening here?

And then like.. and not like, being so.. because it’s this feeling I’m interpreting as negative I have to DO something about it right now, and I have to convince myself that it’s not that, or whatever. That I have to caretake around it.”

”and the idea is that if I don’t manically control it, then the bad feeling is just gonna expand and take over and I’ll be annihilated, essentially”

”and so the practice of just having a feeling, and just not doing anything at all, it’s brand new! And I.. I’m sure there are some people who are like, what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah. But it’s weird.

To have a feeling that is strong and negative and not DO anything about it. Not say anything. Not use anything. Not eat anything. Not drink anything. Just to sit and be like, this is interesting.”

I do like it a lot, and it’s a practice I use a ton with my daughter when her feelings get too big. We’ll sit and I validate that she’s having them, but then I don’t try to fix it or manage it or tell her to stop feeling. We just ride them out and soon she’s back to herself. (And then back to wailing uncontrollably because the sky is the wrong shade of blue or whatever the hell it is that upsets a toddler)

Still, it’s something I want to do more for myself too. To just acknowledge how I feel and then.. nothing. Just let those emotions be without an expectation of reaction. That it’s ok to be sad or happy or mad or whatever and that those feelings don’t have to rule your life.

Mm.

Anywho. I must be off, theres lists to be made. And by that I mean, not making lists and playing stardew valley. Whoops.